Everything I Ask For
by IHaveTheKeyToYourHeart
Summary: Eclare. Oneshots.   #36 - Clare's moving across the country and they are both heartbroken. Will they be able to find a way to stay together?
1. Hair Dye

"Hair Dye"

Alli flung open the door to the Dot, pulling Clare inside. Clare quickly adjusted the blue baseball cap she had on, trying to make sure every strand of hair was concealed by it.

"I can't believe you ruined my hair!" Clare hissed softly. Alli shrugged.

"How was I supposed to know that the hair dye box was mislabeled? It's not my fault!" Alli said, taking a seat at a table in the back.

Clare sat down across from her and adjusted the cap again. It had been Alli's brilliant idea to dye Clare's auburn hair to a slightly darker shade, but it had turned out to be a flaming red color. And apparently it would ruin her hair if she tried to dye it again, back to her natural color, in less then 7 days after she dyed it the first time. So she was stuck with fire red hair for a week. Clare didn't know how she would face people. What would they think? That she was rebelling? Her hair was _sure _to make a statement, and the last thing Clare wanted was people talking about her. She groaned and adjusted her cap, _again._

"Will you stop that? People are gonna see it one way or another so stop wearing that ugly hat." Alli said, reaching across the table and snatching the hat off of her.

Clare gasped and snatched it back, quickly stuffing her hair back in it. But the damage was done. A bunch of students from Degrassi were staring at her.

"Alli!" she screeched.

"Don't be a drama queen Clare. That's my job." Alli tapped her fingernails on the table and giggled.

"You're not the one with... devil hair!" Clare concluded.

"Oh come on, you look hot with red hair. No homo." she laughed again.

Clare rolled her eyes. "You should let me dye your hair now. You know, so we're even."

"It's not my fault it turned out that way! And I'm not letting you anywhere near my hair with hairdye."

Clare rolled her eyes again as Peter approached their table with a pad of paper.

"What can I get you... woah, nice hair Clare." he said, stifling a smile.

"Urgh!" Clare grimaced as she tucked a hair that was sticking out back into the cap.

"What made you decide to get that?" Peter asked.

"It wasn't really my decision." Clare crossed her arms and looked over the table at Alli.

"Alrighty, well I'll have a chocolate milkshake and fries." Alli said, changing the subject.

Clare rolled her eyes. "Same thing please."  
Peter wrote down the order and left their table. Then, the door to the Dot flung open, and Adam and Eli stepped inside. Clare groaned to herself, the last thing she wanted was to have Adam _or_ Eli see her hair. She could already think of the comments and teasing she'd get from them. She sank down in her seat, hoping they wouldn't see them.

"Clare!" she heard Adam yell as he approached their table. Clare winced.

Eli trailed behind him. Clare quickly adjusted the hat again.

"Nice hat, Blue Eyes." Eli said, smirking of course.

"Thanks." Clare said sarcastically.

Adam grabbed a chair from another table and sat down opposite of Clare and Alli. Eli did the same.

"So, what's up with the new get-up?" Adam asked Clare.

"I just had a serious case of bed-head. It's just a hat." Clare said as Alli tried not to laugh. Clare grabbed a sugar packet off the table and chucked it at her.

"Woah, nice new hair color Edwards." Eli said as he grabbed the hat off her hair. Clare's messy bright red curls shook out and Clare covered her hair with her hands.

Adam looked at her then burst out laughing. Eli joined in and soon enough Alli was laughing along with them. Clare was mortified, she felt the color rush into her cheeks.

"Okay, if you're all just gonna make fun of me then I'm leaving." Clare said, peeved as she got up. Eli reached over and grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down into her seat. Just that simple touch from him sent Clare's heart racing. Clare and Eli were dating, and even the smallest things still made her heart skip beats and her stomach get filled with butterflies. What Clare didn't know is she had the same effect on him.

"We're just kidding Clare." Eli said. Clare pouted and crossed her arms like a little kid. This sent Adam and Alli into another round of laughs, but Eli just smiled at her.

"So what inspired you to change to this?" Eli said as he motioned to her hair.

"You can thank her." Clare said, chucking a french fry from the plate Peter just set down in front of her at Alli.

"Oh my gosh, are you ever going to let it go Clare? I didn't mean to change it to firetruck red, it was supposed to be a dark auburn!" Alli said, chucking the french fry back at Clare, which bounced off her shoulder and fell onto the floor.

Eli and Adam laughed again.

"So why don't you just dye it back?" Adam asked.

"Well, it would destory my hair to dye it again. I'd rather have red hair then be bald." Clare said.

"Well I think it looks nice. Brings out you're fiester side." Eli smirked as he motioned to the french fries Clare kept chucking at Alli or Adam whenever they laughed.

Clare then grabbed one and chucked it at Eli. He caught it and ate it and smirked.

"Fiestier side?" Clare asked.

"Yeah. It's kinda sexy." Eli's smirk turned into a grin and Clare could feel the heat rise up into her cheeks. Of course, this set Adam and Alli into a fit of laughter again.

Clare reached down to her plate to grab another fry to chuck at them but the plate was empty. Clare sighed and pushed the plate away.

"Maybe I'll keep the red hair for awhile longer then." Clare smiled and Eli leaned in and kissed her. The simple peck quickly turned into a makeout, and Eli and Clare were oblivent to anything but each other's lips.

"Gross." Adam and Alli said at the same time.


	2. Serenade

**I've always thought Eli was the guitar playing type ;)**

Clare sat down on Eli's bed. His room wasn't _anything_ like she expected. The walls were a simple white with black carpeting. The only furniture was his huge King sized bed with a black comforter, and a wood desk with a laptop sitting on it. He also had a large stereo system, with two speakers and a huge CD rack.

"No dead bodies. Are you disappointed?" Eli said as he sat down next to her.

"Yup, very." Clare said sarcastically as she smiled.

Then Clare noticed the black accoustic guitar resting in a stand behind the stereo system. It looked like Eli put it there so she wouldn't notice it.

She stood up and went over to the stereo system and pretended to be looking through the diverse CD collection. Then she nonchalantly reached behind the stereo system and grabbed the guitar.

"Hiding something?" Clare asked as she held up the guitar.

Eli stiffened. "It's my brother's. He left it in here."

"Nice try. Come on, why are you hiding this?" Clare said as she went back over to the bed and sat down next to him. She pushed the guitar into his hands. He set it down next to him on the bed.

"I'm not hiding anything. I don't play guitar." he said.

Clare raised an eyebrow and then grabbed the guitar and slung the strap over her shoulder. She lightly pressed down on a couple of strings and then strummed. It was soft and sounded horrible.

"Well, at least let me show you how." he smirked and Clare's smile widened.

"Ha!" she said, giggling as Eli grabbed the guitar back.

He slung the strap over himself and positioned his fingers across the strings. He then strummed lightly and it sounded beautiful.

"Well, play me a song dummy." Clare smiled flirtaciously.

"I don't think so." Eli said, trying to take the strap off.

Clare gave him her best you-better-or-I-will-slap-you-look. Eli rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Too bad, Edwards." he said.

"Please?" Clare asked.

"No."

"I'll be your bestest friend forever!" Clare pleaded. Eli burst out laughing.

"Still no."  
"I'll be your slave for a week." Clare said.

Eli raised his eyebrows. Clare's cheeks turned pink.

"Actually, I take that back." Clare said. Eli laughed again.

"Make me a good offer and we'll see." Eli said.

Clare thought for a minute. Eli took the guitar off and laid it on the floor. Clare then scooted closer and leaned in and kissed him. She quickly heated things, and before Eli even realized what was happening it turned into a makeout session. Their tongues danced and Clare pulled away abrubtly.

"Play me a song and I'll finish where we left off." Clare said.

Eli picked the guitar back up. "Good offer Blue Eyes." he wiggled his eyebrows which caused Clare to blush.

He thought for a minute. Then he started strumming. Clare folded her hands in her lap and crossed her legs. Eli started playing a surprisingly slow song, to Clare's disbelief. Then to Clare's utter _shock_, he started to sing.

_ I tried to read between the lines_

_ I tried to look in your eyes_

_ I want a simple explanation_

_ For what I'm feeling inside_

_ I gotta find a way out_

_ Maybe there's a way out_

_ Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer_

_ Do you know you're unlike any other?_

_ You'll always be my thunder, and I said_

_ Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors_

_ I don't wanna ever love another_

_ You'll always be my thunder_

_ So bring on the rain_

_ And bring on the thunder_

Clare blushed. The lyrics were surprisingly sweet, and nothing like she expected. Eli sang a few more versuses, his voice was actually very good. He then finished the song and took the guitar off.

"That was... amazing." Clare said, smiling. "Never knew you had such a soft side."

"Did you like it?" he asked.

"Of course." Clare smiled.

"Now I believe we had a deal?" he asked.

"We did? Oh well." Clare said, teasing as she stood up and started heading to the door.

Eli came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her around and planting his lips on hers.

Clare barely had time to catch her breath. He pulled her back towards the bed and they sat down. Eli had his hands on her hips and Clare wrapped her arms around his neck.

_Maybe I should make deals with Eli more often_, Clare thought.

** BY THE WAY, that song was Thunder by Boys Like Girls. They are my favorite band ever, and even though their music isn't exactly Eli's type, I just had to have him sing one of their songs. Sorry if it's a little OOC. Plus, I think the lyrics kind of relate to them.**


	3. The Bet

** This idea popped into my head in English class today :) I was also disappointed I don't have Eli sitting in front of me in my English class... the guy who sits in front of me is UG-LY. So then I got to thinking about Eclare and WHA-LA, I got an idea! This will be my last update for about two weeks... I think. I'm going on vacation this weekend and next week and weekend is super busy for me and will only have time to update The Things I Do For Him. Sorry :(**

Clare walked into English class, sliding into the seat behind her boyfriend Eli and dropping her tote bag on the floor. Ms. Dawes dropped a packet on to her desk. Clare picked it up and flipped through the pages of the essay she wrote, to the back page where the rubric was. She smiled when she saw the red A+ at the bottom of the page.

"Another A to add to the collection?" Eli asked as he turned around in his seat to face Clare.

Clare rolled her eyes. "Maybe I didn't get an A."

Eli snatched the packet off her desk. Clare tried to grab it back but he moved out of her reach.

"Oh yeah. You didn't get an A. You got an A__." Eli said sarcastically.

Clare snatched the packet back. "My grades are none of your business."

"What is the lowest grade you've ever gotten?" Eli asked.

"That's _none_ of your business!"

"Come on." Eli said. "Don't be such a... Saint."

"They don't call me Saint Clare for nothing." Clare said sarcastically.

"Tell me, please?" he asked.

"No."

"Pretty please?"  
"Why do you even want to know?" Clare asked.

"Fine. The lowest grade I've ever gotten is an F on a pop quiz freshman year. So you can't do any worse then that Blue Eyes."  
Clare crossed her arms. "I got a C+ on a essay once."

Eli raised his eyebrows and then burst out laughing.

"How on earth is that funny?" Clare said, growing defensive.

"Because you've never even gotten a D! Geez, you might as well skip high school and go right ot the Ivy Leagues."

"I'm not that smart and I'm sure I'll fail something before I graduate high school." Clare said.

"Oh yeah? Then bomb the test we're having tomorrow on Hamlet and prove it."

"No!" Clare practically yelled.

"Why not? It won't hurt you're solid 100% average in this class all that much. Plus, you'll be able to prove me wrong. What's better then that?" Eli smirked.

Clare thought for a moment. "Fine."  
"Wanna bet on it?" Eli asked.

"What would we bet?" Clare smiled flirtaciously.

"If you do bomb it and win the bet, then I'll-" Clare cut him off.

"Dye you're hair pink!" Clare said, smirking as well.

Eli paused. "Fine. But if I win...?"

"I'll... wear all black and go goth for a day." Clare said.

"Well, I'd like to see that." Eli said, his smirk turning into a mischevious smile. "Should we spit shake on it?"  
Clare shook her head and laughed. "I'll just take your word for it."

...

Clare walked into class and collected her test from Ms. Dawes who was handing them back at the door. She rushed to her seat and quickly flipped to the backpage, where the grade was. Her heart sank when she saw the C- scribbled out in a red pen.

"So? Who's gonna be playing dress up tomorrow?" Eli asked, sliding into his seat.

Clare grimaced and slammed the test down on the table. Eli picked it up and flipped to the backpage, and burst out laughing.

"I can't even fail when I'm trying!" Clare said, sinking down in her seat.

"Better go find your black clothes Edwards." Eli said.

"Urgh!" Clare groaned.

...

Clare strode into school with Alli, wearing a tight high waisted black mini skirt that hugged her body, black knee high boots with a pointy 4 inch heel, a black tank top tucked into her skirt and a black blazer, similar to Eli's. Alli and her had gone shopping last night just for this and Alli had talked her into buying sexier clothing.

"Alli I feel ridiculous." Clare said, opening her locker and looking at herself in her locker mirror.

Alli had also done Clare's makeup this morning. She was wearing heavy black eyeliner with black eyeshadow, red lipstick and mascara. Alli had also made Clare wear a studded leather bracelet and huge black hoop earrings.

"Well, you lost the bet. Might as well make it worth it for Eli." Alli said, giggling.

Clare, feeling self-conscious, adjusted her skirt. "I'm going home. I'm never gonna survive the day looking like this."

A couple of guys walked by Clare and hooted at her obnoxiously. Clare's cheeks turned pink.

"C'mon. You lost a bet Clare you have to." Alli said, grabbing her arm.

Clare groaned as Alli dragged her down the hall. "I wonder how Eli will react!" Alli said excitedly.

Alli turned the corner, where Eli and Adam were, talking while Eli put books in his locker. Adam saw Alli and Clare, and couldn't help but check Clare out. He then smacked Eli in the arm, who wasn't paying attention.

Clare was already blushing. Eli gave Adam a confused look and then Adam pointed towards Clare. Eli turned around and his mouth practically fell open.

Alli dragged Clare down the hall towards Eli. Clare's face was more red then a tomato.

Alli practically shoved Clare into Eli. Clare turned around and gave Alli a dirty look.

"Wow." was all Eli could say. Alli giggled and Adam smirked.

"That's it. I'm changing I don't care if I lost a bet." Clare said, more embarrassed then ever. She turned on her heel but Eli grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"A bet is a bet, Edwards."

"I don't care!" Clare screeched.

Eli reached down and kissed her. Clare melted into him, and for the moment she forgot her name or why she was even embarrassed in the first place.

"I like you're new look." Eli said.

Clare shrugged. "Well enjoy it while it lasts. After school ends I'm going home and burning these clothes."

"Fine ruin the fun." Eli said, smiling. "I'm just glad I never had to use this." he took out a box of pink hair dye.

Clare laughed. Adam snatched the box out of Eli's hand.

"Pink? So not your color Eli." Adam said.


	4. See You Soon

** Thought up this very sad idea this weekend when I was walking in the woods. Seemed fitting with some events going on in my life right now. Definately not as lighthearted as my other oneshots. From Eli's POV.**

**...**

_This isn't a goodbye, just a "see you soon."_

She had been avoiding me. For weeks now. More then once I had asked her what was going on with her, but she would never give me an answer. She missed lots of school; it was never a surprise to see her empty desk in English. She sometimes would be out of school for a couple of weeks at a time. She was probably going to flunk the 10th grade for getting so far behind on her schoolwork.

I had tried everything to help her. But that was rather hard when I didn't know what the problem was. Even Adam had tried to get her to tell him, but she wouldn't. I couldn't think of anything that would be so serious she couldn't tell even tell me. And the mystery of it all was slowly driving me insane.

But she wasn't even the same Clare anymore, anyone could see that. She wasn't the same energetic and caring girl I had fallen in love with. She was always quiet, secluded and nervous. She sat alone at lunch. If I tried to sit by her, she wouldn't even talk. She didn't even dress the same. Her conservative but girly style clothing was replaced with simple, dark colored sweats. Her auburn curly hair always hung limply and she was always extremely pale with bruise like shadows under her eyes. I had considered things like mono or maybe even depression. But I knew it had to be something more then that, and I had to know what it was.

One day I finally snapped. Today was the day I was going to insist Clare told me what was going on. I wouldn't give up until she told me. I found her at her locker that morning, slowly putting her books away.

I walked up to her and mumbled a "hey." She didn't even look up, or reply.

Then I grabbed her arm, facing her towards me. Then I had noticed the dramatic changes. Her arm that I gripped felt unhealthily skinny. In fact, all of her looked skinny. I hadn't even noticed all the weight she had lost, since she was hiding under the baggy sweats all the time. She looked even paler then usual today, and her cheeks had a greenish tint.

I let go of her arm. She shakily backed up, looking like she might collapse. I grapped both of her arms now, to steady her. She was so... _fragile._

"What's going on?" I asked softly. Her eyes widened. Even her eyes looked unhealthy. They were glassy and bloodshot.

She just shook her head and stared down at my hands that gripped her arms. I let go and she gripped her locker door.

"Tell me." I said, my voice stern.

She just shook her head again.

"Can you talk?" I asked. Honestly thinking something was wrong with her voice.

"Yes I can talk! What? Do you think I'm crippled now? Do you think I've lost my mind?" she screeched loudly as she took a step towards me. I jumped, not expecting this at all.

"It's kind of hard to know when you don't tell me. Why can't you tell me?" I asked softly, trying to be gentler.

She just shook her head again and blinked back tears. She couldn't look me in the eye.

"Clare, if you can't tell me, then I don't want anything to do with you anymore." I said, emotionless. Enough was enough, I wasn't going to try to keep solving this mystery.

She nodded. "I'll tell you." she said softly.

I reached down for her hand and I intertwined my fingers with her's. Her palms were clammy and cold.

She started walking slowly towards the front door of the school. She was shaky and I was afraid she was going to collapse. But she pushed open the door with her free hand and walked down the stairs. She sat down on the last one and let go of my hand.

We sat in silence for a few moments before I noticed the tears falling down her cheeks. She sobbed so quietly it was barely audible.

"I'm sick." she whispered. I felt the blood drain from my face.

"Define 'sick.' " I said, trying to keep the horror out of my voice.

"Cancer." she whispered, burying her face in her hands. Tears filled my own eyes as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap. She sobbed into my shirt as I rubbed her back. I tried to absorb the news but it just didn't seem real to me. I guess I was in shock.

"I'm sorry Clare." I whispered.

She didn't answer, just kept sobbing quietly.

"It's... terminal. I was told I have about... 3 more months... to live." she choked out.

I pulled her back so I was looking in her eyes. She bit her lip.

"I'm sorry." she said softly.

"You're apoligizing?" I said, my voice breaking on the last word. Tears trickled down my own cheeks.

"It... it took me a long time to accept the news. I wasted so much time... I'm sorry." she buried her face in my chest.

And before I knew it I was on my feet, holding her in my arms. I felt weak. This couldn't be happening. I carried her to my car, opening the passenger door and setting her down on the seat and then running over and getting in on the driver's side.

"Where are we going?" she murmered.

"Far away from here." I said.

...

The next three months were the best of my life. Me and Clare spent every moment together, and when she wasn't with me she was with her family and other friends. She was always in someone's arms who loved her. I wouldn't want it any other way. But each day that went by, I knew we were getting closer and closer to the end. I joined her and her family in a vacation all around the world; when it was only a few weeks from the end. She was very weak and had to be transported around in a wheelchair. But just seeing her eyes light up everytime she saw something new was worth it all.

Then we headed home to Toronto. Clare wanted to be at home... when it happened. I didn't leave her side. She wasn't in any pain, as she was on powerful medications. We spent those last few days in each other's arms; she slept most of the time.

"Eli?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Yes?" I said, pushing her bangs off her forehead.

"I think it's time." she said softly, barely able to get the words out.

Her parents quickly rushed in from the other room, I knew the had heard every word Clare said. I had been preparing myself for this moment since I found out the news. But I knew it would be the hardest thing I ever had to do. I bit down on my lip and tears filled my eyes. She was barely able to keep her eyes open.

"Okay." I said softly as I leaned down and kissed her softly, for the last time. She barely had enough strength to kiss back, but I knew she would if she could. I pulled away and set her down gently on her bed. Then I curled up next to her, pulling her head into my lap.

"It's okay. You can go Clare." I said, tears flooding down my cheeks like rain.

She nodded. "I love you. So much."

Her parents stood in the doorway, holding each other and crying as well.

"Right back at you." I whispered, kissing her cheek.

She gave me a small smile and closed her eyes. She interlaced her fingers with mine.

"This isn't a goodbye. Just a 'see you soon.' " she whispered.

I smiled and squeezed her hand gently. Her breathing was shallow, and her breaths became few and far between. Then they stopped all together. I slowly let go of her hand and buried my face in her hands.

_This isn't a goodbye. Just a "see you soon."_


	5. Run Devil

** Listening to "Run Devil Run" by Ke$ha currently and I was thinking, "WOW THIS TOTALLY RELATES TO CLARE." It's based off the promos for the new episodes of Degrassi, where Clare is all goth dressed. Except I tweaked a few things :) Yes this story is totally anti-Eli, but I still love him!**

___I always knew you were a bad boy_

_ I used to think that it was cool_

I pulled on the slutty yet goth clothing out of the shopping bags and pulled it on. Then I slipped on the high heeled combat boots, who even knew they made such a thing? Then I grabbed the black eyeliner pencil off my bathroom counter and started drawing thick lines around my eyes. I applied black eyeshadow and blood red lipstick. Then I grabbed Darcy's straightner out of the drawer and plugged it in. It took me awhile to straighten my bouncy curls, but when I was finished it was exactly the look I wanted.

_ I never knew about your red horns_

_ I never saw your evil start_

I grinned at myself in the mirror, beyond satisfied with the way I looked. I grabbed my school tote from my room and ran downstairs, eager to get to school. I breezed past my mom, who I could practically feel freeze when she saw me.

"Clare-" I cut her off with a dazzling smile as I ran out the door, slamming it behind me.

_ You used to be what I would live for_

_ But then you went and slapped my heart_

I practically skipped to school. I wasn't the type to go for revenge, but I just couldn't resist this time. I wasn't going to live with a broken heart. Eli should see what he's missing.

I got to the school parking lot. Students in different colored polos and khaki ensembles were socializing all over the place. I breezed past them, and I could feel every pair of eyes on me. I even heard a few snickers and that just added to my satisfaction.

_ You better run, run, run, run, run_

_ Cause there's gonna be some hell today_

I bounded up the front stairs. I breezed through the metal detectors at the entrance, and continued my way inside. Alli was standing in the lobby talking with Jenna. When she saw me, her jaw dropped. I approached them.

"What the-" Jenna said, I cut her off, with a raise of my finger.

Yes, I gave her the Bird. Her jaw dropped and she exchanged a look with Alli. I had never forgiven Jenna for stealing KC, and I was done being silent about it.

"Clare!" Alli screeched. I just grinned at her and turned around and continued my way down the hallway. Jenna wasn't the only person I was gonna give a piece of my mind too.

_ You better run, run, run, run, run_

_ And that's the only thing I'm gonna say_

I turned the corner and Eli and Adam were standing by Adam's locker, talking. Adam was facing towards me and Eli was facing away. Adam saw me and his jaw dropped. He then slapped Eli on the shoulder and pointed towards me. I strided towards them, a grin playing across my lips, impossible to hide. Eli turned around and looked me up and down. His eyes were wide.

I placed my hands on my hips and stopped in front of him.

_ I wish I know the right from the start_

_ That I was dancing with the dark_

I had this completely planned out. I had for weeks. Eli stood there, frozen and Adam had a look of pure confusion on his face.

"Fuck you." I said, loud enough for anyone else who was listening besides Adam and Eli to hear. I had never said the " 'F' You" phrase before, and it felt awesome to say it to Eli. The color drained from his face. The exact reaction I was hoping to get. Then I raised my arm and let two fingers slide across the bottom of his chin, mocking him as I grinned at him. Then I turned on my heel and continued back down the hallway. Mr. Simpson was coming down the hall towards me. Someone must have informed him that I wasn't wearing my uniform. And I really didn't care how much trouble I was gonna get in.

_ You better run Devil, Run, Run, Devil, Run Run_


	6. The Club

Since the last chapter was totally anti-Eli, I thought I'd make a oneshot full of EClare fluff :) Enjoy!

It was Friday night. Clare stood in front of the full length mirror on her bedroom door, trying on yet another outfit.

"Come on Clare, I didn't even try on that many outfits. That one is fine!" Alli insisted, standing in front of the small mirror on Clare's dresser, applying lip gloss.

"Are you sure I don't look too... slutty?" Clare asked, tugging on the gold sequin tank top so it covered up more cleavage. She was also wearing skin tight skinny jeans and Alli's black pumps.

"Live a little, Clare. You can't look like you're going to Church all the time. Plus, this is a club we're going to!" Alli squealed while pushing Clare into a chair so she could do her makeup.

"Don't overdo the makeup." Clare warned. Alli groaned in annoyance.

...

Drew pulled the car into the parking lot of the teen nightclub. Clare and Alli gripped their seats, as Drew's driving wasn't the best. He had literally just gotten the license the day before. He pulled into a spot, and turned off the car.

"I think I'll find a different ride home." Clare said, slowly unbuckling her seatbelt. But neither Drew nor Alli heard her, as they had started making out right after Drew turned the car off. Great, I'm the third wheel, Clare thought.

Clare got out of the car, and headed towards the door of the club. She had begged Eli to come with her, but he claimed that he hated dancing. She considered pulling out her phone and calling her mom to call pick her up, as spending the night by herself in the club didn't seem fun. But she spotted Adam, walking in by himself.

"Adam!" she squealed, running up to him.

"Hey Clare." he said, handing the guy in the ticket booth some money as Clare did the same. They walked into the building together.

"I didn't know you were coming tonight. Have you ever been here before?" Clare asked.

"Nope." Adam said, popping his lips on the 'P'. "Just thought I'd come check it out. How about you? Have you ever been here?"

"No. Alli begged me to come but I don't see why she would want me here. Her and Drew are busy making out in the car." Clare rolled her eyes.

Adam laughed. "Well, we don't need other people." he grabbed Clare's arm and pulled her onto the dancefloor. A loud song with a fast beat was playing, and Adam started pushing his way into the crowd of dancing teens. He then pulled him and Clare into a circle of people who were dancing as some guy danced in the circle. Adam started busting some moves, but Clare felt shy.

"Come on Clare!" Adam yelled.

Clare shyly started to move to the beat. A few minutes later, she was completely comfortable with dancing, and she was in the center of the circle as the crowed cheered her on as she danced. After a bit, she let someone else into the center, and her and Adam headed over to a table to get something to drink.

Adam sat down and Clare sat across from him.

"Too bad Eli's not here. I bet he isn't gonna believe that you were the center of attention on the dancefloor." Adam laughed.

Clare giggled. "His loss."

Alli walked into the club, holding hands with Drew. Her hair was disheleved and Drew couldn't stop smiling. Clare didn't want to know how far they got in the car. Adam waved to them and they walked over to the table and sat down.

"Hey, isn't that Eli?" Alli asked, pointing to a boy wearing all black who was walking in the club.

Adam couldn't hide a mischevious smile. Clare looked where Alli was pointing.

"Oh, that is him! He told me he wasn't coming." Clare said she waved to him.

Eli spotted them and walked over.

"What are you doing here?" Clare asked. Adam and Eli exchanged a look.

"Hi Eli, how are you? I'm just fine Clare, thanks for asking!" Eli said sarcastically, but he was smiling.

"Seriously, you told me you weren't coming."

"Did I? Oh, silly me." Eli said sitting down between Clare and Adam.

"Adam, were you in on this?" Clare asked.

"He wanted to surprise you." Adam said as he sipped his drink.

Clare smiled. "Well, now that you're here, let's go dance!"

Clare tugged on Eli's arm but he wouldn't budge

"You should go. Clare is one dancing machine!" Adam said laughing.

Clare's cheeks turned slightly pink.

...

After much convincing, Eli finally agreed to dance. After a few songs, Clare and Eli left the club and went outside to Morty.

"Nice outfit." Eli said.

"Alli made me wear it." Clare said, biting her lip.

Eli smirked. "You look beautiful though."

Clare blushed.

Eli scooted closer to Clare. He cupped her face and leaned down and kissed her, with as much passion as he could muster. The kiss quickly turned into a makeout session. Their tongues danced. Clare pulled away, breathless.

"I love you." Eli whispered in her ear. Clare turned pale.

Eli scooched back over to the steering wheel. He stared out the window, as it was awkward that she didn't say it back.

"Um, I'll drive you home." Eli said, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. Clare started at the floor.

It only took about 10 minutes to get to Clare's. Eli shut off the car.

"Well, here we are." Eli said, awkwardly smoothing his hair.

Eli looked over at Clare. Even though it was dark, there was enough moonlight shining in the car that he could see Clare's tearstained face. He hadn't even realized she was crying.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Clare sniffled. "I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"To say... it back."

"Why?" Eli asked softly.

"Because then I know I've really fallen hard. I've never felt this way before." Clare said.

Eli pondered for a minute. "There is a first time for everything." he smiled.

...

Okay, I had such a good idea for this but then it turned out kinda lame...


	7. Complete Me

** Sorry, this is a sorta sad twoshot. I feel like I'm better at writing depressing stories then happy ones (?) BTW, this is all from Eli's POV. Sort of an Angst story... I'll add the second part in a few days.**

Two years. Two years I had been battling this war. A war that I found my own ways to fight against.

During sophmore year, I met Julia. In a way, she healed me. She completed me in a way that neither her or I ever understood. And this scared her. Scared her that she was falling in love, falling too hard. It scared me too, but at the time I was too much in love to see the reality of it all. All I knew that I was happy, and she was happy. That should be enough right? That's what I thought.

We were compatible in almost every way possible. She was introverted, and I found ways to make her open up to me. I was rather serious, while she had a slight goofy side, that only I got to see. I could name things forever. But our relationship was too serious, and moving too fast. As this was okay with me, this scared her. She thought that wasn't right.

She told me about how she felt about this, about us, one dark Friday night in March. She told me she thought we needed a break, to "cool things down" for a bit. Of course, this was like a slap in the face to me. She was my medicine, she stopped me from letting my depression take me. I needed her more then she would have ever understood. I made a mistake, by trying to convince her she was wrong, igniting the fight. She fired her opinions back at me, as she started to cry. She was enraged, and seeing her upset and crying killed me inside. I tired to stop her, I honestly did, but she was angry enough that she took off on her bike, leaving me standing alone in the dark. That's how I always felt, like I was standing alone in the dark.

She was struck by a drunk driver. She was instantly killed on the impact. For weeks, months even, I couldn't accept this. It just didn't seem real that someone so amazing could be in my life one second, and taken away from me the next. I fell back into my depressed state, not letting anyone else in my life. That is, until I met Clare Edwards.

I had been self-medicating my depression with drugs and cutting myself. I barely let anyone see the depressed side of me, I was ashamed of it. It has taken me so long to accept that my depression isn't my fault, it's some kind of chemical imbalance in my brain, blahblahblah. I've heard what the doctors have said. They have given me medications, therapy. They didn't seem to help. I knew how to help myself. Drugs were an escape without leaving, however cliche that sounds. And cutting was my way of letting out all the sadness, the hurt, the grief. One time, my dad caught me cutting. He took me to some mental specialist doctor. That's how I was diagnosed with depression.

The doctors also suggested I get a new start, at a new school. Staying at my old school wouldn't help with the greif of losing Julia apparently. Not seeing her face in the halls, not having her to sit with during lunch. So, that's how I ended up at Degrassi. I also changed my image, going from a conversative type of style to a goth one. As long as I'm cutting and such, I might as well keep with the stereotype and go goth too. That's the way I saw it.

But when I met Clare, something changed. Drugs didn't seem like anything but a stupid, pointless narcotic, and cutting lost it's "thrill." I slowly had weaned myself off of them, but whenever something bad happened, I went right back to them. My parents tried to hide the knifes, but I had my own pocket knife they knew nothing about. They also didn't know about the drugs, so once again I was back to battling the war on my own. But all I really wanted was someone back in my life, someone to take the pain away. I was hoping Clare could be that person.

Then the whole Fitz stuff started. I honestly didn't put up with bullshit, from anyone. So I found myself losing my temper with him, a lot. That's what started the war with him, a whole different war. And in an odd way, that's how I met Adam. It was nice to have two friends; Clare and Adam. It was nice to have a guy friend to chill with on weekends, to be able to distract myself from the pain for awhile. And Clare, she was like a red-headed version of Julia, although no one could ever replace Julia in the same way. I promised myself I would take things extra slow with Clare, so I wouldn't scare her off. I needed Clare, way more then she knew. But there is a lot she doesn't know about me.

...

"Eli! Get down here!" I heard my mom yell from downstairs. I groaned. Clare bit her lip.

"Sounds like somebody is in trouble." Clare said, teasing.

I smiled. It was hard to _not_ smile around Clare. Even though, sounding from my mother's tone, I was in for an earfull of yelling. I don't even remember what I did to piss her off.

"Be right back. Don't go anywhere." I said, opening my bedroom door and stepping out into the hallway. I jogged down the stairs. My parents were sitting at the table.

"Eli, Doctor Standler just called, you missed your after school therapy session yesterday. That's unacceptable." my mom said, a little loud.

"Shh!" I hissed, looking up the stairs, accepting to see Clare with a shocked look on her face or something. Clare didn't exactly know about my depression or any of that, and I was trying to keep it that way.

"What?" my parents asked in unison, confused.

"Clare's here." I said.

My mom rolled her eyes. "If she is your girlfriend, you should tell her about you're problem, honey. What if she finds out? She is gonna be pretty insulted you didn't tell her. Trust me, I know how girls are like. I used to be one."

"I don't want her to know about it, alright?" I snapped. My mom flinched.

"Don't talk to your mother that way, Elijah." my dad said. "And back to the problem at hand. You can't skip out on therapy sessions, do you understand? We are paying a lot of money from them, so you better damn well be there. End of discussion." he stood up and left the room.

"Can I go back upstairs now?" I asked my mom, who was still sitting there.

"Sure." she said, standing up and walking over to the sink.

I went back upstairs. I flung open my door.

"Miss me?" I asked.

Clare was looking out the window, and she turned around and faced me. She was pale.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"What's this?" she held up a shaky hand, which was holding a bag of white powder. I felt the blood drain from my face. That was the bag of coke I kept at the bottom of one of the drawers in my desk. The only way she would have found that was from snooping through my stuff!

I walked towards her and snatched the bag out of her hand. Then I noticed she was crying. My heart sank.

"It's just..." my voice trailed off.

"Don't make excuses." she held up her right hand to stop me. "You aren't who I thought you were. You're a _druggy."_

"Since when do you have the right to go through my stuff without my permission?" I snapped, she flinched.

"That part was wrong of me but obviously I had a good reason to. Don't talk to my anymore. Get some help Eli." she grabbed her purse off my bed and headed towards the door.

"So that's just it? You are just gonna make assumptions and dump me?" I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes that I quickly blinked back.

"All the evidence is right there." she pointed at my bed. "There is no assumption. I don't want anything to do with someone like that. Goodbye Eli."

It felt like someone was stabbing my chest. The pain made it hard to breathe. No, I would not let another girl get away because of my stupid mistakes.

Clare ran downstairs towards the door. I heard my mom ask if everything was okay and Clare lie and say it was. I quickly ran downstairs after her, but she was already outside.

She was walking her bike out to the sidewalk. It was pitch black, it was around 10:00 at night. I heard the sound of a car skidding to a stop. This was all too familiar.

"Let me give you a ride." I yelled after her as she was getting on her bike.

"No thanks." she yelled back sharply.

"Clare, please." I had at least told her about Julia. She should understand.

"Fine." she muttered.


	8. Complete Me pt 2

We walked over to the garage where Morty was. Clare was clutching her white sweater and her purse. She was visibly pissed and I couldn't think of anything to say to make her less mad at me. I walked over to open the passenger door but she beat me to it, throwing open the door and sitting down and slamming it. _Jesus._

I opened up Morty's back door and wedged her bike there. Then I went up to the front and slid in. Clare was staring straight ahead, her arms crossed and she was slightly slouching.

"Can I even explain?" I finally thought of that to say. No more secrets, Clare needs to know.

"Just drive me home." she muttered, not turning her gaze away from the dashboard.

I sighed, slightly frustrated and started the car. I pulled out of the garage and headed towards her house, purposely going just a little slower then I would normally go just to waste a little bit of time. Maybe let her cool down a little more.

I pulled up in front of her house and cut off the engine. She reached for the door handle and tried to open it, but the door was locked.

"Unlock it." she barked, finally turning towards me.

"No." I said, my tone sounding a bit more fierce then I intended. She sunk back against the door. "You're going to listen to what I have to say."

She just nodded once, avoiding looking me in the eyes.

"There is a lot you don't know about me Clare. And it's time you found out. Before I met Julia" I paused. "I was diagnosed with clinical depression." I exhaled sharply and Clare's scowl melted into soft sympathetic half-smile. "It's changed who I am completely. I have to go to therapy. The drugs you found... it was how I used to deal. But I'm slowly stopping. You can't just quit it cold turkey but I'm trying."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she finally asked, her expression sort of hurt. I turned away from her.

"It's not just something that I chit-chat about." I said.

"Well, I get that. But still. I wouldn't have judged you." her tone was softer. I relaxed a bit.

"Actually, you did." I said, facing back towards her.

She thought for a minute. "I just found it and I made a lot of bad assumptions. I'm sorry. If you would have told me the whole story right away, I wouldn't have had to find it like that."

"You shouldn't have been snooping through my stuff." I shrugged. "But I'm glad you know now. One less secret."

"Wait, there's more?" she asked.

_Crap._ I sighed and stuck my arm out towards her.

"Uh...?" she asked, confused.

"Just... look." I said.

She gave me a confused look and then lightly grabbed my wrist. Her hands were sort of shaking. She slowly pushed up my sleeve halfway up my forearm and I heard a small gasp. I winced as I felt one of her fingers touch one of my scars. She quickly pulled her hand away.

I didn't know what she'd say to that. I knew this would be a lot to take in at one time.

"Eli..." she mumbled, her voice thick with tears.

I quickly snapped my head towards her. She buried her face and her hands and let out a soft sob; her shoulders shook.

I pulled her into my arms and she buried her face in my chest.

"Clare, it's okay. Stop crying." My chest ached. I hated seeing her hurt; hurt because of me.

"You have to stop... doing that to yourself." she choked out. "You're gonna really hurt yourself. Just... just don't do it anymore."

I knew some of my scars were pretty gruesome. They probably looked worse then they actually were.

"I don't even do this anymore. It's not like drugs where you get addicted. But the scars stay. I stopped when I met you, Clare."

She stopped sobbing and froze. Then she pushed away from my chest and looked me in the eyes. Even in the dark car, I could still see her eyes perfectly well. They were sort of bloodshot and the skin around them was puffy. I wiped away a tear from her cheek with my thumb.

Then she smiled a bit. "So, you're done with that?"

"Yes."

She sniffled and rubbed her eyes. "Thanks for telling me about... that."

I nodded. "You should get inside before you get in trouble." I said.

She grabbed her phone out of her purse, the small screen added a small bit of light to the car. "Crap. See you tomorrow." she hopped out of the car.

I was about to drive away when I saw her wallet sitting in her seat. I quickly grabbed it and jumped out of the car. "Clare!" I yelled.

She was still walking towards the door and she quickly turned around. It was raining, pouring actually. I was getting soaked just standing there.

"You forgot this." I walked towards her and handed her the wallet.

"Thanks." she smiled. She quickly kissed me on the cheek and turned around to go inside when she slipped on a puddle and landed on the ground. I chuckled, even though the _situation_ that happened minutes ago was so serious.

"Shut up." she said, holding her arms up so I could help her up. I grabbed her hands to pull her up when she pulled me down with her and I landed in the puddle. She burst out laughing.

I could feel the cold water from the puddle seeping through my pants. She was still laughing, hysterically. To shut her up, I cupped her face and kissed her. I caught her off guard, but after a few seconds she was kissing me back, passionately. Then the porch light flipped on and her mom flung open the door. I quickly pulled away.

"Clare, stop that and get in here before you catch a cold." Clare's mom wasn't exactly too thrilled with me and Clare's relationship, but she didn't disapprove it.

"In a minute. Just let me say goodnight to Eli." Clare said, smirking flirtaciously at me.

Clare's mom rolled her eyes and closed the door.

Then, we were kissing again. In the pouring rain, in a puddle.

_ Damn, what would I do without this girl?_


	9. Run Devil pt 2

** Eeeeep how many of you screamed like crazed fangirls at the TV when Eli jumped over the desks and when they showed his piercing? I know I did. Yeah, my parents were in the room too and they think I'm insane. Anyways, this oneshot is about what happened before Clare went all revenge bizerk-o in Run Devil (Chapter 5.) A lot of people have been asking me questions about what happened to break eclare up before that oneshot so I thought I'd do a little blurp on that. Did I seriously just say blurp? Guess I did. Oh, and I know people aren't huge fans of eclare stories where there is break-ups, fighting, etc. But I happen to like writing those kind of stories just as much as I like writing fluff stories. Sorry, not all relationships are perfect and eclare is far from a perfect relationship. Don't hate me for saying that!**

I ran down the hallway, my comfortable flats making a thwaping sound on the linoelum floor as I ran. _Thwap thwap thwap. _I felt free and overly energized. I slammed open the door to the front of the school, practically running right into one of the security cops that works here now. He yelled at me to stop running but I just ran right past him and down the stairs. Nothing was going to ruin this moment.

I had gotten my driver's license a little over a month ago. I ran out into the parking lot, grabbing my keys out of my bag and unlocking the door to my car and sliding in. I quickly headed out of the parking lot, going a little over the speed limit.

Eli was "out sick" from school today. But he used that excuse like once every two weeks. When he didn't feel like going to school, he played hooky. So it wasn't an uncommon site to see his empty desk in English class. So, I headed to his house. I couldn't wait to tell him.

I pulled into his driveway. The garage door was wide open. Morty was parked in there, but there was also a cherry red Subaru I didn't recognize parked in the driveway. I didn't remember it as being one of his parent's cars, so he must have someone over right now. That's a little odd. School just let out. Someone else must be playing hooky with him. I instantly felt jealous, but I pushed those feelings aside as I strode up to the front door, ringing the doorbell twice. I waited for a few seconds but then I remembered I left the letter from Yale in the car. That was my big news. I had been accepted into Yale even though I was only a junior. I had just gotten the letter from them this afternoon at school. But it wasn't just getting into the college that mattered so much. Eli had gotten a full scholarship there a little over a week ago. This meant I could skip senior year and go to college early, with him.

I quickly grabbed the letter out of the car and went back and rung the doorbell six times, getting impatient. I waited for a few minutes but no one answered the door, and I knew someone was home. I groaned and grabbed the doorknob. It was unlocked so I slowly opened the door and stepped inside the foyer.

"Hello?" I called. I could hear a girl giggling. What the...?

The sound was coming from Eli's room, which was just off the living room. I quickly walked through the living room and then to Eli's room. His door was slightly ajar. I immediately felt the blood drain from my face as I shoved open the door, not wanting to believe the site in front of me.

A short, skinny girl with fair skin and wavy, blondeish brown hair was sitting on Eli's lap. She was kissing his neck and he didn't seem to mind at all. They were sitting on his bed and his arms were wrapped around her waist. When he saw me, his eyes widened and he went pale. The girl quickly turned around and saw me. Her cheeks turned red as she awkwardly slipped off his lap.

I couldn't find the words to speak. The words to shout at him. All I could feel was shock. It was like someone slapped my across the face.

"Clare..." Eli's voice trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck. The letter from Yale fell out of my hand and fluttered on to the floor.

The happiness I had felt just seconds before was replaced with a crumbling anxiety. And pain. I wanted to believe my eyes were playing a trick on me, but I couldn't deny it any longer. He was cheating on me.

"Sorry for interupting." I finally spat. Letting the tears fall down my cheeks as I forced myself to turn around and run towards the door. I could hear Eli's footsteps behind me.

"Clare!" he shouted, grabbing my arm, spinning me around.

I shook it off. It took everything in me to not completely break down right here. His eyes were filled with an emotion I hadn't seen on him before. Regret. That didn't change anything though.

I pushed open the front door and ran down the walk to my car. I heard him shout my name again but there was still a little hope left in me. Hope that he would chase me down the front walk to my car, to explain that this wasn't what it looked like. To be unbelievabley happy I got into Yale, and that we would forget this whole thing and go celebrate. But he didn't follow me. He went back inside as I pulled out of the driveway.

I guess I'll be spending my senior year at Degrassi.


	10. Permanent December

** Okay, so I'm debating whether I should do a part three for Run Devil. It'd basically be from Eli's POV. Do you guys want me to do that or are you sick of it because you hate the whole break up drama?**

** And do any of you like to roleplay? Me and my friend starting a Degrassi roleplay. So far the only characters taken are Clare and Anya. So if you are interested send me a message with what character you'd like to be and I'll reserve that character for you and give you the rest of the details. It's first come first served, so the character you want might already be taken so think of a couple people you'd like to be. And it's on a website you probably don't have an account for, but making accounts at this time like takes 30 seconds and it's a really easy-to-use website, so no worries. :)**

** And sometimes I can't think of ideas for oneshots so I just put my iPod on shuffle and write one after what ever song comes up. So I'll be sure to give the song credit when I do that.**

** Song: Permanent December**

** Artist: Miley Cyrus**

** Sorry, this one is gonna be un-fun fighting/break up-ish again. Forgive me? All from Clare's POV.**

4 months.

It had been 4 months since I screwed up the best thing that has ever happened to me. And each day seems harder then the one before it. The regret, the guilt, the pain; it was all too overbearing. I couldn't find a way to cope. If I could just take back what happened that cold night in December, I wouldn't be dealing with any of this. Eli would still be mine and we would be happy. But because of what I did, we were _both_ far from happy.

And everyday at school, I have to see him. See the pain in his eyes when he looks at me, which he quickly covers up with his I-Don't-Care attitude. See the scowls he shoots at me. See how much I hurt him. It kills me inside. Tears me from the inside out.

So it seems like it'd be easier to blame KC for all of it, but he doesn't deserve all the blame for what happened that night. I went over to his house after he sent me a text saying he wanted to talk. I thought we were just gonna patch things up, going back to being friends, aquaintances even. But things quickly got heated between us, and before I even realized what I was doing, I was kissing KC. I instantly felt a surge of guilt, so I pulled away from him and tried to leave. But he grabbed my hand, saying that what we were doing was right, and he started kissing me. For some reason, I fell for his act. I melted into him.

What I didn't know at the time, was that this was KC's plan. He wanted to break me and Eli up from the very moment that he dumped Jenna so he could get me back. So he hid a camera in the room we were in, and recorded the entire thing. It was uploaded on FaceRange minutes after I left his house after the innappropriate makeout session. He purposelly said all the right things to make things so heated at the time. He was just hoping I'd make a flirty comment back, say anything that he could use against me to but a damper on me and Eli's relationship. But the kiss? Neither of us were expecting that to happen, and it was the perfect ammunition he could use to break us up. And it worked.

Eli was furious when he saw the video. He called me a string of profanities, all of which I deserved, and then dumped me. There was nothing I could say to make things better. I screwed up, massively, and this is what I got for it. I was so stupid.

But now, it's April. It has been 4 months. But it still seems cold. Everytime I leave the house, I feel the rush of cool December air. It's like I'm stuck in December, stuck dealing with the consequences and the pain. I even wished that Eli had hurt me instead of the way things happened so I wouldn't have to feel this guilty.

I prayed every night that some day Eli would stop being mad at me. That some day we could go back to being in love, friends even. I missed him more then I had ever missed anyone. We had been together for over a year and even daily events reminded me of him. If I saw a green leaf, it reminded me of his eyes. If I heard a sarcastic comment, I immediately thought of him. It tortured me.

So one day, I decided this would be the last day I would feel like this. Today, I would talk to Eli. I would apoligize, beg for him to listen to me. I knew that probably wouldn't be enough, but if I didn't at least try I would go insane.

Yes, I would do all of this from him. He was worth it.

_This feels like a permanent December_

_So much colder than I can remember_

_When I get you back_

_This time I swear that I won't_

_Won't ever let you go_


	11. Contagious

** Okay, so you may or may not know that I am absolutely obsessed with Boys Like Girls. So I think the next few oneshots might be based off of BLG songs because some of them really relate to eclare. **

** Song: Contagious**

** Artist: Boys Like Girls**

** (Eli's POV)**

I walked into school. Clare was standing in the lobby area, talking with some other girl. When she saw me, her expression immediately turned pissed off and she turned away from me. I groaned to myself. I hated when Clare was mad at me, which seemed to happen a lot lately. Everything I said, everything I did was so wrong to her. I was beginning to run out of ways to make it up to her. I had a feeling that we were headed for a breakup if I couldn't think of a way to fix this.

After school, I ran up to Clare outside. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"What?" she spat.

"Can I give you a ride home?" I asked.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking, thanks." she said, sort of sarcastically as she turned on her heel and started walking away. I ran after her and clamped my hand down on her shoulder and spun her around.

"It's gonna rain pretty soon. C'mon." I pleaded, motioning towards Morty.

"Oh well. I'd still rather walk."

"Please Clare." I was practically begging now. Something I barely ever did.

"Fine." she said, as she followed me to the car. We both got in and I pulled out of the parking lot. I wasn't planning on taking her directly home. I drove out of the parking lot, and went the opposite direction then where her house was.

"Uh, you're going the wrong way." she said.

"I know." I said, turning on the stereo. She quickly shut it back off.

"Eli! Let me out of the car!" she said, her voice rising into hysterics.

"Relax. I'm not kidnapping you." I said.

"Urgh!" she screeched, sinking down in her seat.

I got onto the freeway. Clare was uncomfortably playing with her sleeve.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked.

"A place." I said, gripping the steering wheel.

"Wow, didn't figure that one out on my own." Clare said sarcastically. Ha, I was so rubbing off on her.

I pulled off the freeway. After a few more minutes, we were on a gravel road. The area was sort of rural.

"I swear to God, if you don't tell me where we're going I'm going to call the cops." Clare said, taking her cell phone out of her bag.

I grabbed it out of her hands. "That would but quite a damper on my surprise for you."

She looked at me. "A surprise?" she tried to sound non-interested, but I could tell she was really curious.

"Yup." I said, popping my lips on the p as I stopped the car.

I got out of the car and so did Clare. She walked around to the front and looked at me.

"Wow, you brought me to the middle of no where. Quite a surprise Eli, I absolutely love it!" she said, sarcastic again. "Now, take me home. This is such a waste of my time."  
"Please stop talking, you're really starting to annoy me." I said, and couldn't help but smirk at her. She crossed her arms. I reached out my hand to take her's, but she didn't move her arms. I dropped my arm and starting walking towards the dirt path that was just off the road. I turned around, she was still standing in the same place.

"Well, are you gonna come or not?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes and followed me. We walked down the path for awhile in silence, she was walking a few yards behind me the entire time. Then we got to the clearing, and I broke through the thick trees and out into the open.

She gasped as she came over and stood next to me.

"I'm afraid of heights!" she cried, jumping back.

We were at the edge of a cliff. There was a huge waterfall just to the side, that went hundreds of feet down to a crystal clear lake below. It was a place I came to when I had a lot on my mind. I sighed and sat down, close to the trees on a big rock. It was a safe distance away from the edge.

She stood there for a few moments, then sat down on the rock next to me.

"So, I guess cliff diving is out of the question, huh?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled a little bit. "Well, it is beautiful. And we came here to talk, so start talking."

I sighed. Where to start?

"I'm sorry Clare. For everything I've done. I don't know what it is that sets you off al the time, but I'm sorry."

She exhaled loudly as she tucked her feet under herself. She then looked at me.

"It just, bothers me how you always have all the answers. Every time. You have this huge massive ego that gets in the way of everything. You think you know how to handle everything. Even _my_ problems. And sometimes I don't want a problem-solver as my boyfriend, I just want some support." she said quickly as she looked away.

I absorbed what she said for a minute. Then I jumped up off the rock.

"That's why you're mad at me all the time?" I said, my tone rising.

"Yes! You wanted to know so I told you!" she said.

I sighed. Knowing that I wasn't going to argue myself out of this one, nor did I want to. "I didn't know you felt that way. I'm sorry."

"It's just, you can't solve everything Eli. I have to handle my own problems sometimes. I love how you care so much, but you're gonna ruin our relationship if you don't stop."

"You're right." I said, sitting back down on the rock. "I just don't like seeing you upset."

She smiled a bit as she hugged her knees to her chest.

"No more fighting?" I asked.

"No more fighting." she agreed, as she leaned in to kiss me.

_Would you give me one more minute?_

_The story's far from finished_

_We could fill in all the pages_

_I'm feeling sick, girl, you're so contagious_


	12. Stranger

** Okay, I know you guys want a part three for Run Devil and a part two for Permanent December, plus I'm in the midst of the Boys Like Girls oneshot "marathon," but I couldn't resist writing this one. All the other things I've promised are coming soon though! I'm in the middle of Run Devil part three so I will probably upload that tonight or tomorrow.**

** And the rolplay I've mentioned is still open! Right now, the only character taken is Clare (By me, sorry.) All the other people who reserved different characters have dropped out. So ALL OTHER CHARACTERS ARE OPEN. If you like to roleplay, please consider joining this! And if ANYONE likes to roleplay as a guy character, please join! We need more people to be guy characters!**

** Song: Stranger**

** Artist: Hilary Duff**

Both of my parents laughed. Eli was telling them some kind of joke. I wasn't paying attention though. I didn't understand. Why was he so charming and easy-going around my parents and our friends? It doesn't make sense.

Both of my parents loved Eli. They were beyond happy I married someone like him. He was perfect, at least in their eyes.

Ever since I married Eli a little over a year ago, things started going downhill. He wasn't the same man anymore. He treated me like a prisoner in our own home. It had even escalated to the point where he started to hit me and throw things at me. I was afraid of him. Afraid of my own husband. That isn't right.

It seemed like everything I did was wrong. If I went out to eat with my girl friends, he would accuse me of leaving the house to go cheat on him. If I stayed for an extra hour or two at work, he'd accuse me of never being home and neglecting him. He had turned into some kind of paranoid monster, and I was the victim.

No one could see how he treated me. Whenever we around others, he was the perfect, charming, witty Eli I had fallen in love with. But as soon as the other people left, I feared him. Last night things had gotten so bad, I locked myself in our bedroom and he tried to beat down the door. I almost called the police.

The keyword here is _almost._ I had almost left him several times. I would pack up all my stuff when he wasn't home, and almost even got everything in the car. Then something would tell me that I was making this all up, that it was all in my head. So I would unpack everything.

So, I keep living this way. You make think I'm crazy for staying with him, and I probably am. But I do love him. And when you love someone as much as I love him, you'll believe that they can change. You'll think that they're just going through a rough time and things will get better. Because love makes you do crazy things.

My parents left our house an hour later. They came over for dinner once a week. Eli walked them out and locked the door behind him. I slowly cleaned off the table and started on the dishes. I could hear Eli come back into the kitchen. I slowly scrubbed the plate I was holding.

"Do you want me to make you some coffee?" I asked softly, keeping my gaze on the plate.

"No, I don't want any coffee." Eli said, in a tone that mimicked mine. "And would it kill you to show up on time? Your parents come over at the same time every week. God, what the hell is so important that you can't be home on time?" he yelled. I felt the color drain from my face. I set down the plate I was holding on the dish rack.

"I'm sorry. I got tied up at work." I choked out, slowly walking towards the stairs.

"Don't walk away from me!" he followed me and grabbed my arm roughly. I blinked back the tears that sprung into my eyes as I shrinked away from him, in fear.

"Look at me!" he yelled. Grabbing my chin roughly with his other hand and forcing me to look at him in the eyes. His emerald eyes were wide with anger, and his lips were twisted into a menacing scowl.

"I'm sorry. I won't be late anymore." I said, trying desperately not to cry.

"Damn right you won't be." he let go of me roughly, pushing me backwards into the stairs. I fell and hit the small of my back on the edge of the stairs. I let out a pained whimper.

Then the doorbell rang. Eli quickly walked to the door to answer it. He flung open the door and I could see Adam standing on the doorstep.

"Hey! I just thought I'd stop in for a second to say hi." Adam said.

Eli let him in and Adam looked at me weirdly.

"Are you alright?" Adam asked.

I quickly pulled myself up off the stairs, even though my back hurt really bad.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Clumsy me, I'm always falling down these stairs." I let out a nervous chuckle but quickly covered it. Eli smiled at me.

"Geez Clare. I gotta get those stairs carpeted soon." he laughed.

Adam laughed too and he and Eli walked into the living room. I could hear the TV turn on. I composed myself and followed them. I stood by the couch where Eli and Adam sat, side by side. Eli patted the spot next to him and I sat down. He then wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my hair.

"I love you." Eli said softly.

"Aww." Adam teased, laughing.

"I love you too." I whispered. Eli pulled me into a kiss. And for the moment, I had forgotten what had just happened a few minutes before. Because _my_ Eli was back, at least for the time being.

_There's no kindness in your eyes,_

_The way you look at me, it's just not right._

_I can tell whats going on this time,_

_Theres a stranger in my life._

_You're not the person that I once knew._

_Are you scared to let them know it's you?_

_If they could only see you like I do,_

_Then they would see a stranger too._


	13. Run Devil pt 3

After the whole flicking-people-off-and-dressing-like-a-total-hoe-to-show-Eli-what-he-is-missing thing, it was really awkward for me at school. Of course, I have no one to blame but myself. Jenna obviously wasn't talking to me (which I really didn't care about) and neither was Adam, since he was better friends with Eli. It kinda seemed like Eli was avoiding me around school, but could you blame him?

I do not regret what I did though. I still can't figure out why he cheated on me, but I have jumped to a lot of conclusions. It actually took a big hit on my self-esteem. I was in a depressed state for days after I found out he was cheating on me. But I would not be that way anymore. I would not hurt over Elijah Goldsworthy anymore. This part of my life is over, and I'm moving on.

...

I was at my locker one day, putting away my math book and grabbing my physics one when I heard a voice that made all the horrible emotions I was trying to put away come rushing back.

"Hey Clare." Eli said softly, standing next to me.

"Goodbye Eli." I said calmly as I slammed my locker and started to quickly walk away. I could hear him running after me.

"Hey," he grabbed my arm but I shrugged it off. "Can we please talk sometime?"

"What else is there to say?" I said, trying to sound like I didn't care but my voice came out all sad and weak-like.

"A lot. Please, Clare. I'm not asking you to forgive me, I just want to talk."

"Well, I don't want to listen to whatever it is you have to say." I said as I turned on my heel and started to walk away.

"Clare," he said as he stepped around in front of me, blocking me when I tried to step around him. "Please." he was practically begging now.

I was staring at the ground this entire time he was talking to me, knowing that if I looked at him, looked into his eyes that I might agree to meet him somewhere to talk. But I finally tore my gaze off the floor, and looked into his eyes. Damn those eyes!

"Fine." I said softly.

"Okay, uh, great!" he exclaimed. "Meet me at the Dot at like 4:00?"

"Sure." I said, nodding softly as I walked away.

...

At 4:00, I walked to the Dot. I was starting to regret to meet him. I was supposed to be giving him the silent treatment, make him feel worse. But for some reason I wanted to hear what he had to say. I wanted him to tell me how sorry he was. Not saying I'd forgive him though, but it'd be nice to know he regrets it.

I walked inside and closed the door behind me. Eli was sitting at a table in the back. I slowly walked over to him, sitting in the chair across from him. There was a plastic coffee cup sitting on the table in front of me.

"I, uh, ordered you a decaf tea. Your favorite." he said, nervously fiddeling his thumbs. I don't think I've ever seen Eli nervous.

"Thanks." I said softly, sipping it.

"Urm, how have you been?" he asked.

I set the cup back down on the table. "How do you think I've been?" I screeched.

He winced a little bit. "Um, dumb question. Sorry."

"You weren't my entire life. You aren't the only reason I feel like such crap." I said angrily.

"Things worse with your parents?" he guessed.

"Actually, yes. They're getting divorced." I paused. "Why am I even telling you this?"

"I'm sorry, Clare." he paused for a few moments. "For everything."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"Seriously. I regret what happened so much. That girl wasn't worth it all. I had no idea what I was thinking at the time, I must have been out of my mind. I am so stupid Clare. Unbelievabley stupid and I don't deserve you at all. I just wanted you to know that."

My heart fluttered as he said that. I immediately scolded myself. _He hurt you so badly, you will not forgive him!_

"You're right. You are stupid." I finally managed to say.

"The stupidest." he agreed.

I sighed. "Alrighty."

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, you should be sorry. And I'm... glad to know you are." I said. "Uh, thanks for the tea." I grabbed my purse and stood up to leave.

"Wait, that's it? Things are gonna go back to the same way they have been lately?" Eli asked.

"Well, yeah. I'm glad to know you're sorry, and that's it."

"Clare! What can I do? I want you back in my life! I hate that we walk around like we've never even met!" Eli said, his voice rising. A few people from other tables looked at us.

"Well, that's what happens when you cheat on someone!" I said, my voice rising as well.

"I said I'm sorry! What else am I supposed to do? Go back in time and make it so I never cheated?"

"What you should have done is never have done that in the first place and we wouldn't have any of these problems. You shouldn't have hurt me like you did. I thought I loved you Eli, God damnit I thought you were the freaking _one_! I was gonna give up my senior year to go to college with you! You smashed my heart into a million pieces and right now I can't even look at you without wanting to slap the living daylights out of you! I want you to hurt like I hurt and then you would see that it's hard for me to just forgive you when all you do is say a few charming words! Things will _never_ be the same Eli. You messed up, now deal with it!" I didn't even realize I was crying until Eli reached out and tried to wipe away a tear with his thumb. I slapped his hands away.

"I did hurt like you did though. I had to live with knowing I screwed up the best thing that's ever happened to me and I had to live with that guilt. Damnit Clare it hasn't been easy for me either! I know I hurt you and that _kills_ me. And knowing there is nothing I can do to make it better _destroys_ me." Eli's eyes were shining with tears as well. I stared at him in shock for a few seconds, and then snapped out of it.

"I don't know what to say." I said, staring at the top of the table.

"Say that you'll forgive me because I am so sorry. I have never been this sorry before. If there is anything I can do-" I cut him off.

"I don't know if I'll regret this later, but I forgive you." I said softly as I sniffled.

I looked up at Eli. His sad expression immediately turned happy. He leaned across the table to kiss me but I turned away from him.

"Uh...?" he asked, confused.

"Can we just go back to being friends? I'm not ready to go back to... what we had."

"But, will you be? Eventually?" he asked, hopeful.

"Maybe. Time will tell."

** Okay, I decided I can't just end it there and that there will be a part 4 and possibly a part 5. I might do one entirely from Eli's POV. Please review :)**


	14. Need You Now

** Okay, I know I'm supposed to do Run Devil parts four and five but I honestly am just not in the mood to write those right now. :/**

** I'm also not continuing my Boys Like Girls "marathon." Most of their songs do not relate to eclare very well.**

** Song: Need You Now**

** Artist: Lady Antebellum**

I ran upstairs, tears streaming down my face. I ran into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. I dropped to the floor as I the realization hit me.

_ My parents are splitting up._

I didn't want to believe it. What would this mean? Would I have to live in two different places? Constantly going back and forth? Would I have to watch my parents fall in love with someone else?

And to top it all off, Eli and I were in the middle of a fight. I honestly don't even remember over what it was. We were arguing over something and it just escalated, until we were both shouting things at each other. Finally, I just left. It's been four days since the fight, and we haven't talked. Not even at school. I wasn't even sure if we were still considered in a relationship. It was so confusing not knowing where our relationship stood.

Tears of frustration and sadness were flowing down my cheeks. I didn't cry very often, and I usually stopped myself whenever I had the urge to. But I didn't care anymore, my life was falling apart and I had no one to turn to anymore.

I laid on the floor, crying, for hours it seemed. Finally, I picked myself off the floor and tore my room apart, looking for my phone. I wasn't mad at Eli anymore. I don't know if he was mad at me still, but I needed to talk to him. I needed to hear his voice. That was the only thing that would hold me together right now.

I called his number. I was slightly nervous as I heard it ringing. I didn't know what I was going to say, I just _needed _him. Small tears were still trickling down my cheeks. My heart practically stopped when he answered.

"Hello?" he said groggily. I must have woken him up. I quickly glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was 1:15, in the morning.

"Hi." I said softly. "Uh, it's me."

"Um, Clare. It's like 1 A.M."

"I know. I just... I just wanted to talk to you." I said, a little louder then before. My voice sounded thick with tears.

"Um, are you okay?" he asked.

"No." I said, a fresh tear rolled down my cheek. "I miss you. And I'm sorry, I don't even remember why we were fighting in the first place but it was stupid_. I_ was stupid. B-but, I just need you right now. I know you might still be mad but I just wanted to hear your-" he cut me off.

"Clare, you're rambling." he said. I heard the loud roar of Morty's engine in the background.

"I... I'm sorry Eli. Um, why are you out driving at this hour?" I asked, confused.

"I'm sorry too. And I'm on my way to your house." he said.

I couldn't help but smile. "Why?"

"Because you said you needed me. So, I'm on my way."

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now_

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_


	15. Stolen

** How many of you are still in shock over tonight's Degrassi episode? Jeez, it kinda pissed me off. Like, nothing good ever happens to eclare anymore.**

** And now everyone is saying Eli is a hoader? COME ON. This is pissing me off. Something good needs to happen!**

** So, here's a little light-hearted oneshot. Run Devil is coming soon. Whenever I feel like writing it. XD**

** This one isn't all Eclare, but I felt the need to write it.**

** Oh, and my inspiration for this comes from my obsession with Bath and Body Works. I loveee their scents. My favorite is Dark Kiss. :P**

** And I almost fainted in one of their stores because of how overbearing it smells in there. Haha.**

Eli stood in the store, trying not to faint from the reeking smells of perfume and soap. It was way too overbearing. Why did he even agree to come here anyways?

Clare had called him that morning and convinced him to come to the mall with her and Alli and Adam. Malls weren't really his thing, but he was bored so he agreed. Adam ran into Fiona 30 minutes ago, when they were at some girly clothing store Alli insisted on going into, and then Adam left to go hangout with her. Now he was all alone, looking like an idiot standing by himself in a Bath and Body Works store.

Clare and Alli were standing by a rack of bottles of body spray. They were having fun and being total girls, smelling each one. Eli rolled his eyes_. I'm going to lose consciousness if I stay in here for one more minute. God, there's no air ventilation in here, _Eli thought.

Clare strolled over to him, holding two different pastel colored bottles. She held them up in front of him.

"Which one do you think smells better?" she asked, about to spray him with them.

"God, do not spray that." Eli warned, raising his hands up defensively and stepping back.

"Please. I can't decide which one to buy!" Clare pleaded, stepping closer. Eli stepped back again.

"Isn't that what Alli is here for? And how can you guys even stand to be in here? I can't breathe!" he pracitcally yelled.

Clare burst out laughing. "Don't be such a wimp."

"I'm not a wimp. You need like a gas mask to be able to tolerate this place."

Clare rolled her eyes playfully and walked back over to the rack. Eli headed over to the door. Alli quietly came up behind him, dropping a small bottle of body spray in the hood of his hoodie. Clare turned around and saw what Alli was doing. Her eyes widened as she ran over to them. But it was too late, Eli walked through the doors, and outside. Thankfully, there was no security detectors at this store.

Clare smacked Alli as she ran outside. Eli stood near the door to the store. Clare grabbed the bottle out of his hoodie. He gave her a really confused look.

"Why did you feel the need to steal some Butterfly Flower body spray?" Alli asked, as she walked outside. "Totally not your scent."

"What the...?" Eli's voice trailed off as he stared at the bottle.

"Alli! Why on earth would you do that?" Clare asked.

"Because," she said, plucking the bottle from Clare's hands. "I wanted this one."

"So you had to steal it?" Clare practically shouted.

"Sssh!" Alli whisper-yelled, looking around to see if anyone heard her. "Put it on the news why don't you!"

Eli just rolled his eyes. "What if I would have gotten caught? I could have been in mall jail right now or something."

Alli looked from Clare to Eli, then burst out laughing. "Mall Jail. I hear it's pretty hardcore there."

Eli grabbed the bottle from Alli, chucking it over the railing that dropped down to the first floor of the mall. Alli gasped.

"Hey!" she shouted.

Clare laughed and held out her hand to high five Eli. He just stared at it.

"High fives are not my style." he said, but he couldn't resist a smile.

"Just like Mall Jail isn't?" Alli asked.

They all burst out laughing.


	16. Here We Go Again

** Song: Here We Go Again**

** Arist: Demi Lovato**

I cautiously knocked on Eli's door. I was beyond nervous. My hands were shaking and sweating and I felt sick to my stomach. I was about to chicken out and get back on my bike and ride away, when the door opened. I mentally cringed.

"Urm, hi." I said, not being able to look in his eyes. I kept my gaze on the ground.

"Uh, hey." he closed the door and stepped out on to the porch.

Eli and I's relationship was always so complicated. We fought, made up, things were good again and then we fought again and made up and then things were good again. It was a constant cycle, never ending. Finally, last week, after a lot of thinking, I ended our relationship. But this last week was terrible. It wasn't just a fight were we would make up again in a few hours. To know that it was actually over scared me. So here I am, crawling back to him.

"Can we talk?" I asked quietly, finally tearing my gaze from the ground to look at him. He looked at me, half confused half relieved. I looked in his eyes. _Damn those eyes!_ They were my biggest weakness. I was now practically putty in his hands.

"Um, let me guess. You want to get back together?" he smirked.

"Don't let it go to your head. But, yes." I said.

"Couldn't resist me, could you Blue Eyes?" his smirk melted into an actual smile. Whatever I was upset about him for, and whatever he was upset at me for, obviously wasn't relevant anymore. I smiled back.

"Guess not." I shrugged, then laughed.

"Well, I can't resist you either." he said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me up on my tippy toes. His lips crashed on to mine. I melted into him.

I guess we're back in the same old cycle again.

_So how did you get here under my skin?_

_I swore that I'd never let you back in_

_Should've known better than trying to let you go_

_'Cause here we go go go again_


	17. Halloween Party

** Happy Halloween!**

"Before you ask me who I am and what I've done with the real Clare, let me tell you that this was _not_ my idea!" Clare exclaimed, sounding a bit impatient.

"Alright?" Eli asked, confused. "This should be good."

Clare sighed, gripping the strap of her tote bag and leaning against her locker. "I'm kinda having a party tonight, at my house."

Eli stared at her for a seconds and then burst out laughing. "Saint Clare, hosting a party? Well there is no way I can miss _this_ extravaganza!"

"Shut up!" Clare hissed, but in a teasing way. "Like I said, this was not my idea!"

"Then who's was it?" he asked.

"Alli's. She can't have a party at her place and since my parents aren't going to be home tonight, she volunteered me to host it."

"You could have said no." Eli said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but these are the kind of things you do for friends. Plus, I've never even been to a Halloween party. So I figured it'd be fun to host one!" Clare said excitedly.

"Alright, who are you and what have you done with the real Clare?" Eli asked, smirking.

Now it was Clare's turn to roll her eyes. "I have a lot to do. But you better be at my house tonight at 8:30! In a _costume_!"

"No guarantees about the costume part." Eli said.

Clare didn't hear him though. She was already thinking about everything she had to do before the party. She didn't even have a costume yet.

_..._

Clare pulled the costume out of the shopping bag. She stared at it for a few seconds before dropping it on to her bed and looking at Alli.

"This is _so _not me." Clare said.

"Well either that or you can go costume-less to your _own_ Halloween party. This is the only thing I could get for you last minute, since it was my costume last year." Alli said, pulling her own costume on.

"What are people gonna think when they see me dressed like this? No offense, but this is just way too slutty!" Clare said.

"Aren't you the one who always says you don't care what other people think?" Alli said, putting her heels on.

Clare felt her cheeks turn pink. "Well. Fine."

Alli smiled. "Come on. You're gonna look hot. Eli won't be able to take his eyes off of you!"

Clare was now fully blushing. Alli giggled. "You are way too easy to embarrass."

"Shut up." Clare muttered, starting to put the costume on.

Alli's costume was of a dark fairy. It was even sluttier then the costume she brought for Clare. The one she brought for Clare was a ladybug. It was short, tight red dress with black polka dots, long socks that went to the middle of her thighs, black heels and bug antennas. It wasn't too bad, but it was too revealing for Clare's tastes.

After they were done getting dressed and doing their makeup, they headed downstairs to set up. They had an entire table of junk food and several playlists on Alli's iPod for music. They hung a few Halloween decorations as well.

Then, the doorbell rang. Alli squealed as she beat Clare to the door to answer it. She flung open the door, and burst out laughing. Clare walked over to the door to see what was so funny, and burst out laughing herself as she took in the sight before her.

Eli and Adam stood on Clare's doorstep. Adam wore a zombie costume, while Eli wore a _banana_ costume. Eli scowled at Adam as Alli and Clare tried to stop laughing.

"Nice costume choice!" Clare finally managed to say, still trying not to laugh.

"I lost a bet alright?" Eli said.

That just made Alli and Clare laugh more. Adam even joined in.

"And what bet did you lose?" Alli asked.

"Well-" Adam began, but Eli cut him off.

"Adam and I just had a little bet. I lost so I had to wear this." Eli stepped inside, Adam followed him.

Clare exchanged a confused glance with Alli as she closed the door and followed Eli and Adam into the living room.

"Come on! What was the bet about?" Clare pleaded.

"Nothing important." Eli said sharply. "But, uh, nice costume."

Clare felt the heat rush into her cheeks. "Once again, this was not my idea."

"Well if it counts, you make a cute ladybug." Eli said, smirking as he walked inside.

Alli squealed. "I told you!"

Clare rolled her eyes at Alli, but couldn't resist smiling as she went back into the living room. She was turning on the music when the doorbell rang. Clare ran over to answer it.

She screamed at the person standing on her porch. They were wearing a very convincing Grim Reaper costume and holding a fake severed head. The person burst out laughing at Clare's reaction.

Dave dropped the hood of his costume, revealing who he really was. Clare's hand was over her heart because she was so startled. Dave started laughing.

"Nice reaction!" he commented, walking inside and dropping the fake head into Clare's hand. She screamed and dropped it and then kicked it across the room. It landed in Eli's lap. Everyone started laughing as Eli and Adam started throwing the head back and forth to each other.

About 20 minutes later, 25 or so other guests had arrived. The party was in full swing, with people dancing, talking and eating. Clare was in the kitchen, looking for the other bag of chips she bought to refill the empty bowl. She didn't appear to be having much fun.

"It's your party and you'll cry if you want to?" Eli asked, walking into the kitchen. He startled Clare.

"No. Hosting a party is just not as fun as I thought it would be." Clare said, finally finding where the bag of chips was.

"How is it not fun? Eli asked, walking over and grabbing a handful of chips out of the bag.

"Too much work, I am paranoid of my parents walking in, and I'm dreading the mess I'm going to have to clean up afterwards." she said.

"Well, you at least have to enjoy it before it ends." Eli said, grabbing Clare's arm and tugging her back into the living room.

Alli ran over to the iPod dock and turned the music off.

Who wants to play Truth or Dare?" she squealed. All of the guys groaned.

"Come on! We're playing it whether you like it or not!" she said.

Eli pulled Clare over to a couch. They sat down next to each other as everyone else took seats around the room.

"I'll go first. Clare, truth or dare?" Alli asked. Clare groaned.

"Um, truth." she said.

"If you had to slap anyone in this room, who would you choose?" Alli asked.

"What kind of question is that?" Clare asked, rolling her eyes.

"A good one. So answer it." Alli said.

"Um, Dave. For scaring me." Clare said.

"Awh, come on. I wasn't that scary."

Clare just rolled her eyes again.

"Okay, your turn Clare." Alli said.

"Um, Eli, truth or dare?" she asked.

Eli smirked. "I don't feel like eating anything gross or running around the house naked, so I'll pick truth."

Clare thought for a second. "What was the bet about?"

Eli's smirk faded and his eyes widened. Now it was Clare's turn to smirk.

"You have to answer it." she said.

"Fine, you really want to know? Adam said if I couldn't tell you I like you before the party, I had to wear this banana." he said, turning away from her. Clare felt the heat rush into her cheeks.

"And you couldn't tell me?" she exclaimed.

"It's not something I can just easily slip into a casual conversation." Eli said, still avoiding her gaze.

"Well it would have been a lot easier if you would have just told me. Then you wouldn't have to be wearing that!" Clare crossed her arms.

Eli finally turned towards her and raised his eyebrows.

Clare dropped her arms and rolled her eyes. "I like you too, you stupid banana!"

A bunch of people laughed but Clare didn't notice. Right after she said that, she crashed her lips onto his.

_Maybe this party was worth it_, she thought.


	18. Someone's Watching Over Me

** So I was determined to write a oneshot based on whatever song came up on my iPod when I put it on shuffle, no matter what song it was, and I got this one. It's basically one of those songs that you can only make a beyond depressing oneshot for. So, sorry if I make anyone cry. ):**

** And I'm supposed to be doing my English essay right now, but instead I'm writing this because of the amazing reviews I always get. Thanks (:**

** Song: Someone's Watching Over Me**

** Artist: Hilary Duff**

It was after dusk, it was storming, it was raining heavily and I was walking into a cemetery. What a cliché. My pale, shaky fingers gripped the fake red roses in my hands. A dozen of them.

I pulled the hood on Eli's old black hoodie up so it covered my head. It still smelled just like him. A mix of cinnamon and cologne. I breathed in the scent of the fabric, taking comfort in it. I would never wash this hoodie. When I was wearing the hoodie, I could almost imagine him hugging me from behind. Just the memory of that made me eyes fill with tears of grief. But I would not break down now.

I slowly approached the tombstone I was way too familiar with in the southwest corner of the cemetery. The only sounds in the cemetery were of my feet making a sloshing sound in the sopping wet grass, and the howling, chilly wind that nipped at my face and hands. It was eerie, too eerie for my comfort. But this was in fact a cemetery, and it was almost midnight. Once again, a perfect cliché.

I reached the tombstone. I kneeled down on to the grass, not caring how soaked my pants were going to get from the grass.

_ Elijah Goldsworthy_

_ March 04, 1994 - July 16, 2011_

I traced the letters with my fingers. I felt tears welling up in my eyes again, threatening to spill over. Tempting to without a warning. I rubbed my eyes roughly, commanding the tears to not spill now.

"Hi." I said softly to the grave, as if expecting it to respond. "It's me, Clare."

I waited for a moment. Still an ounce of hope left in me that Eli will appear above me, sweeping me up in his arms and protecting me from the chilly rain. But even though Eli's body was just a few feet under me, he was actually very far away from me. I looked up at the sky, the angry clouds smashing together into a roar of thunder. That's where he was, up in the clouds.

I placed the roses on top of the smooth stone, counting out each one as I laid them down neatly. After I placed the twelvth one, my hands sank to the ground. Clutching the grass.

"I miss you." I whispered. "It's not fair that you left me."

The sky lit up in an explosion of lightning. The crackling yellow light landing just yards from me. I didn't jump, this didn't scare me. I took comfort in the fact that maybe Eli sent down that bolt of lightning. Letting me know that he was in fact present, even though he was millions of miles away, up in the clouds.

I heard the screech of tires and the sound of them screeching around a street corner off somewhere in the distance. This sound, gripped me with pure terror. I recognized this sound. The sound that haunted my dreams every night since this exact same date, one year ago. The day Eli left me. The day of the accident.

That night would burn in my memory with perfection forever. I remembered every detail. Everything me and Eli said to each other that night. It was the night that I in fact, gave him my virginity. Minutes after he left my house, his car was struck by a drunk driver's truck. Morty rolled over 6 times. Eli was killed instantly.

He was only 17. It didn't seem fair that he didn't get to experience a ton of things life offered. I almost felt like I was selfish, because I got to live my life. It just wasn't fair.

"I-I hope heaven is as wonderful as it should be. I know you never believed in any of that, and even if there isn't a heaven I just hope you're happy. Wherever you may be." I whispered.

Then I noticed a few white roses. Blown by the wind a few feet away. There weren't any other graves around Eli's, so someone must have brought them for _his_ grave. I crawled over and grabbed them, placing them over my red roses. His parents or even Adam must have been here recently.

"This past year has been hard for me." I choked out, my voice breaking on the last word. I shoved the sobs I knew I would have to get out eventually. I wasn't going to deal with them now.

"Everytime I turn a corner, everytime I open a door I expect to see you there."

The lightning cracked angrily again, connecting with the ground on the opposite side of the graveyard. I smiled a bit, connecting the lightning with Eli again.

"B-but, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep sitting at home, all day, everyday just staring at the wall. You aren't here anymore. And I don't think it's fair to me."

Finally, I couldn't hold back anymore. The tears bubbled over, sliding down my cheeks rapidly. I took a moment to compose myself.

"I'm sorry Eli. I always will be. But I have to move on. I have to live my life. I hope you understand." my voice almost sounded hysterical. Stupid tears.

"It's not like I'm going to just forget about you. I won't ever do that, and I can promise you that. I just can't keep my heart here at the graveyard. You can't take it and you can't use it. At least, not now."

I slowly rose to my feet. I was soaked from the rain. I wiped away my tears, and blinked back the remaining ones.

"I know you're out there somewhere. And I know you can see me and hear me right now. So, please, just know I won't forget Eli. I won't ever forget. I promise._ I promise_."

And with that, I removed the hoodie. I was only wearing a thin t-shirt underneath. I was cold, but I didn't care. I folded up the hoodie neatly, and placed it on the tombstone. Doing this, was not something I had thought of until now. I had actually planned on keeping the hoodie. But if I was truly going to move on, I couldn't keep it. I felt empty and hollow, the tears long gone.

"I believe that this is your's." I said softly, motioning at the hoodie.

I turned on my heel and headed towards the exit of the cemetery. I whispered goodbye, as I would never return to this place.

_Goodbye_, I could practically hear in the wind.

_So I won't give up_

_No I won't break down_

_Sooner than it seems life turns around_

_And I will be strong_

_Even if it all goes wrong_

_When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe_

_Someone's watching over me_

**A/N: Okay, so this totally took a different plan then I expected, and I think it's better then my original plan. I know it doesn't have much to do with the objective of the song anymore, but I think that's okay. In the end, Clare still believes Eli will be watching over even if she does move on and she does still believe they will be together again one day. She believes they are still soulmates, even if she finds someone else. I know that might be confusing, sorry if is. Please review!**


	19. Don't Touch

** Once again, I was hit shuffle on my iPod and decided to make a oneshot to WHATEVER came up. And I got THIS. Which completely does not and will not ever relate to eclare, so yes they will be OOC. Sorry, blame the shuffle on my iPod.**

** Oh, and I hate writing about anything even kind of sexual. It's just not my thing and I'm not good at it.**

** Song: Don't Touch**

** Artist: Ashley Tisdale**

"Eli... stop." she said, breaking the kiss and batting his hands away from her rear end. He held up his hands, defensively.

"Sorry." he muttered, stepping back. The mood was obviously ruined.

He went and sat down on the other side of his bedroom. Clare awkwardly sat down on his bed. They faced away from each other.

"Sorry, it's just I don't think we should do anything past kissing just yet. I've been with a couple of guys who wanna... you know" she felt the heat rise in her cheeks "the minute we finish our first date. I just don't work that way anymore."

Eli turned around and raised his eyebrows. He was aware of Clare's reputation. She was the "school slut." He knew her past history. He knew she had been with more guys then he had CD's. He was perfectly aware of all of it, and he honestly didn't care. He knew Clare for who she really was. Regardless of what she did with her past boyfriends.

"Okay. I get it." he said, smiling slightly.

"Get what?" she asked.

"You don't wanna ruin this by having... sex right away. You don't actually wanna screw this relationship up like the last ones, no pun intended."

"I never said_ I_ screwed up my past relationships. I wasn't innocent in all of them but neither were the guys. Most of them just used me for sex."

Eli didn't know how to respond to that, so they sat in an awkward silence for a few moments.

"You're different." Clare finally said, breaking the silence.

"Thanks, I was aware." Eli said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that. I mean it like you're one of the few guys I've known who actually wants a real relationship. I'm just... afraid of one thing."

"Afraid of what?" Eli asked, turning around fully and looking Clare in the eyes.

"That you are just like the others. That you are just saying all of this to get me to trust you so you can get in my pants." she said. "That you're just a better actor then the others."

"Sex isn't important to me Clare. And it never will be." Eli said.

"I want to believe that." she said, coming over and standing by him. He grabbed her hands and intertwined his fingers with her's. She looked away.

"Clare, look at me." he said, seriously.

Clare slowly turned her gaze back on him.

"I am not with you just because of sex. You mean so much more then me then that. And even though you have a... crazy past it doesn't matter to me. I trust you and I hope you trust me."

Clare couldn't resist a smile. "You mean that?"  
"Of course." he stood up and pulled her into an embrace. Clare pulled back just far enough so she could kiss him. The kiss was slow and tender. And Clare knew she could really trust him now.

"Okay. Let's just say you can look all you want, but no touching. Yet." she smiled flirtaciously at him.

_Zoom zoom in under my skin_

_Gotta slow down now to begin_

_Baby don't rush you can look but don't touch_

_Zoom zoom_

_In...to my head_

_Gotta know me to be my man_

_Boy prove your love_

_You can look but don't touch_


	20. Speechless

** *crazy fangirl scream* FINALLY, GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO ECLARE. I LOVED TONIGHT'S EPISODE. IT WAS SO CUTE WHEN THEY HUGGED. GAHHHH. :)**

** Too bad there will be NO MORE ECLARE UNTIL FEBRUARY. *dies slowly and painfully***

** Is there a reason we have to wait all the way until February? They are already done filming the entire season! And seriously, I don't give a fuck (pardon my French) about Jenna and Sav or Holly J and Declan for that matter. Let's just get some eclare up in this bitch and call it a day!**

** And I'm so happy it's Friday. Had such a hard week. :/ I just started Driver's Ed. classes. Yeah, not so fun. On top of my school work, I now have two extra hours of classes plus I'm getting a job. Which means, less time to write. (Oh, and if you're wondering how old I am I'm 15 and a half. My half birthday is actually today haha! It kinda bugs me when I don't know how old the author of a good story is so I thought I'd make that clear.) Ugh. And I really need to update my other stories. Check out The Thing I Do For Him, Watchful Eyes, and Cold Blooded if you haven't already. I'm planning on updating a lot this weekend because I haven't updated much on my other stories.**

** Once again, this oneshot will be break-up-ish, fight-ish. I know A LOT of people dislike those ones, and I'm sorry! Blame my iPod for always picking those kinds of songs! The next one will be happier and full of fluff for sure, even if I have to scroll through my iPod for the right song.**

** xoxo Steph**

** Song: Speechless**

** Artist: Lady Gaga**

I gently pulled away from him, breaking the steamy kiss. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand. Was this the right moment? I took a deep breath.

"E-Eli?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I-I... I love you." I finally managed to get out. I bit my lip trying to hide a smile. I had been waiting for awhile to finally tell him. It felt good to finally admit it to him.

His eyes widened. My throat began to feel tight. This was not the reaction I was hoping for.

"What?" he repeated, but more in shock this time.

I felt the blood drain from my face. "I... I said-" he cut me off.

"I heard what you said." he snapped. I flinched as I felt tears well up in my eyes. No, this was not happening. I would not be one of those people who messes up their relationship with the big "L" word. There must be some big misunderstanding.

"And... and you don't?" I choked out

He let go of my hands. They dropped into my lap and I stared at them. I had been rejected by Eli before, for sex, but this was a lot worse. This was like being stabbed in the heart.

"Clare... I'm sorry." he said.

I looked up at him. "Why not?"

He stared at the floor. "It's just... It's just too soon for me."

"Eli, we've been together for almost 8 months!" I practically screamed. The frustration and the utter disappointment of rejection was consuming me.

"I can't say something I don't mean though." he said. He gave me a sympathetic smile.

I just gaped at him. It felt like I had been slapped in the face.

"I... I should go." he said, getting up and grabbing his blazer off my bed. I just stared at my hands. I heard him leave the room and retreat down the stairs.

I was absolutely speechless.

_I'll never talk again_

_Oh boy you've left me speechless_

_You've left me speechless, so speechless_

_And I'll never love again,_

_Oh boy you've left me speechless_

_You've left me speechless, so speechless_


	21. The First One

** Yay, you guys get a happy oneshot! Enjoy!**

** Song: The First One**

** Artist: Boys Like Girls**

Clare and I, we were both broken. We had both had really tragic first relationships. We both had had our hearts ripped out.

As for her, she had dated some jerk named KC. She told me that he dumped her for some blonde bimbo named Jenna. She told me how her and Jenna used to be friends, and how she had never felt more backstabbed before in her life. Her and KC had had a rocky beginning, and she had been through a lot with him. And then he just dumped her like garbage. She said that after that, she wondered if she'd ever be able to trust a guy again. It took me awhile to convince her that blonde bimbos weren't my type, and that I'd never leave her for anyone else.

As for me, well let's not beat around the bush, I was and still am a mess. Julia was the closest person in my life, and it took me 16 months to accept the fact that she was really gone. Then after I met Clare and started to like her, I went right back to where I started. I felt like I wasn't being fair to Julia by liking another girl. I tried to distance myself from Clare. I tried to convince her that I wasn't the type of guy she would want to get involved with, but she never gave up. Clare never gave up on me, and therefore, I finally started to get over Julia.

I'm not saying that I will ever forget Julia, or what we had. She was my first girlfriend, and that itself is something special. I know Clare understands that I still love and miss Julia, and I will continue to greive her. But I know Julia wouldn't want me to be so unhappy all the time. I know she would want me to move on and find someone else. So I did.

But every once in awhile, I find myself going through the box of stuff that I have that belonged to Julia. Clare knows this. She knows I am and will always be damaged. She knows I'm not perfect. She knows I still have a broken heart. And so does she from what happened with KC. We're both a mess. But together, Clare and I are anything but a mess.

_The first one is the worst one,_

_When it comes to a broken heart,_

_Your first love, yeah, you're so young,_

_And you feel like a fallin' star_


	22. Aliens Invading

** Okay, so when my iPod picked this song, at first I was "How the frick can I make this a oneshot?" But then, I got a brilliant idea. Too bad it's too late for Halloween!  
Song: Aliens Invading**

** Artist: Ke$ha**

_ Clare looked up into the night sky. Even though it was dark, I could still see her pretty well because of how bright the moon was. It was one of those creepy full moon nights, where the moon is so bright and big it seems like it's taking up half the sky. I saw her light blue eyes widen, and she grew pale._

_ "Do... do you hear that?" she said, sounding terrified. I laughed. She got scared way too easily._

_ "Shut up! It's not funny! It sounds like... like a... machine or a motor or something!" she jumped to my side, putting my arm around her shoulders._

_ "Calm down. It's probably just a deer or something." I said, shrugging as we continued walking down the path._

_ "Deers don't sound like motors, Eli!" she exclaimed. I just chuckled again._

_ "Maybe it's a robot deer." I joked, pulling her along._

_ We continued walking down the dirt path. It kept twisting and turning, but I knew exactly where we were going._

_ Suddenly, the sky lit up. An indescribable green color filled the sky, like someone poured a bucket of paint into the atmosphere. Clare gasped. I could hear the motor sound Clare was talking about now._

_ "What... what is that?" she yelled, clutching my arm._

_ "I... I don't know." I said, trying to sound like I wasn't afraid. But I was._

_ Suddenly, something that was oval-ish and big flew over the trees, going so fast I could barely see it._

_ "Let's go!" I yelled, turning around and running back down the way we came._

_ Clare screamed, one of those blood-curdling screams that you hear from the victims in horror movies. I gripped her arm, pulling her along as we ran. Suddenly, we were stopped dead in our tracks by a bright beam of green light that descended from the sky. It temporairly blinded me, but I knew we had to get away from it. I ran into the woods, stumbling because my vision was blurred._

_ We weaved through the dense trees, running as fast as we could. I wasn't sure which direction we were headed now, and we were going to be helplessly lost if I couldn't. I could hear Clare sobbing._

_ Finally, we came to another path. We ran down it for awhile with no sign of whatever that green light was. I ended up tripping over a rock that jetted out in the path, and fell on to the ground, pulling Clare with me. We were both exhausted, trying to calm down and catch our breath._

_ "Eli... I... I can't keep running." Clare said, burying her face in her hands._

_ "Yes... yes you can. Get up, c'mon." I said, standing up and trying to pull her up._

_ "I can't keep running that fast... I just... I just can't." she said. "Go on without me."  
"I'm not going anywhere without you Clare!" I yelled, exasperated. "Now let's go!"_

_ The next minute played out in slow motion. I reached down to pick her up, when the green beam of light appeared again. I jumped back, but it was too late to save Clare. She was trapped in the light. I watched in horror as I saw her rise up into the oval-ish thing in the sky. I screamed._

_ "NO!" I yelled. But instinct took over as I turned around and ran for dear life down the path. I turned a sharp corner in the path and ended up running right into another beam of light._

_ I felt the life being drained out of me as I rose up, high above the trees._

I woke up, drenched in sweat. I sat up immediately. It took me a moment to register where I was. I couldn't believe that that was just a dream. It seemed so real. Too real.

I walked over to my window and opened it up and stuck my head out. I expected to see the terrifying UFO, flying high in the sky just like it was in my dream. But the sky was dark but clear. There wasn't even a moon tonight.

I looked down at my hands. They were shaking uncontrollably. I closed the window. I then walked over and picked my phone up off the charger and checked the time. It was 4:45 in the morning.

Suddenly, I had that feeling like something wasn't right. Like someone was in trouble. I quickly called Clare, not caring how early it was.

"H-hello?" she asked, obviously just woken up.

"Clare?" I asked, sounding relieved. "Are you okay?"  
"Um, yes, why wouldn't I be?" she asked, starting to sound worried.

"I... I just... nothing." I stammered.

"Um, okay? Is everything okay with you? You don't normally call me at 4:45 in the morning." Clare said.

"Um... I just had... I had a bad dream. You were in it and I... I just wanted to make sure you were okay." I said, sounding really stupid.

"Well, I'm fine." she said, chuckling slightly. "What was your dream about?"

"Uh... aliens." I said, sounding really stupid.

I expected Clare to burst out laughing and then start making fun of me. But she didn't.

"Did you get abducted or something?" she asked.

"Actually, we both did." I said.

She sighed. "Eli, are you reading comic books before bed again?"

I looked over at my nightstand. A copy of _Alien Invansion Episode 2_ laid turned over on it.

"No..." I lied.

_Aliens invading_

_Run for your life!_

_Grab your wife and babies_

_It's going down tonight_


	23. A Thousand Miles

** Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Some people didn't like my last oneshot? But no one will tell me why? That annoys me! I can't improve things if you can't tell me WHY you don't like it!**

** Also, I've been so busy. And stressed out. Mostly stressed out. :/**

** Anyways, this is my favorite song EVER so I'm so happy it came up when I hit shuffle. (:**

** Song: A Thousand Miles  
Artist: Vanessa Carlton**

Wasn't senior year supposed to be the best year of your life? Aren't you supposed to have tons of fun, slack off in school, and discover who you really are? Isn't it the year your dreams are supposed to come true?  
Then why do I spend my Friday and Saturday nights by myself? Why do I barely leave house except to go to school and come home?

Oh yeah, because Eli is like a million miles away, probably having the time of his life.

It isn't fair that he got accepted into University of Florida and I have to spend my senior year alone. This long distance relationship thing? Not working as well as I thought it would. How can I be with someone who I only talk to once a week, over the phone?

Oh yeah, because I love him.

...

I walked into the dorm building. There were a bunch of obnoxious guys around. Some hollered at me, some even tried to touch me as I walked by. I clutched my purse, ready to use it as a weapon if needed. Was this really how a college guy's dorm was like?

I wasn't sure where Eli's dorm was, or even the room number it was. But I was tired from the long plane ride, and my patience was not holding up for these immature guys. I stopped walking and turned towards a boy who was stepping out of his dorm room.

"Do you know someone named Eli Goldsworthy?" I asked.

The guy nodded. "Yeah, he's my roommate."

"Dude, who's at the door?" I heard Eli call from inside the room. My heartbeat quickened.

"Uh, do you want to come in?" the guy asked. I nodded furiously, probably looking stupid as I ducked under the guy's arm and ran into the dorm.

When Eli saw me, his eyes widened. I ran towards him, jumping into his arms. He stumbled backward, completely caught off guard. I burst out laughing. I hadn't felt this happy for months.

"Clare? What are... what are you doing here?" Eli asked, cupping my face and looking into my eyes.

"I was bored. So I caught a plane to Florida!" I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight embrace. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and spun me around.

We spent the next few minutes, completely absorbed in each other. We kissed a few times. _God, I missed his kisses so much._

"How long can you stay?" Eli asked, breaking a kiss and playing with my hair.

I sighed. "Only for tonight. I have to be home in time for school." I said.

Eli sighed too. "You have to come visit at least one more time before summer. I was seriously about to lose whatever sanity I have left because I missed you so much."

"Well, we only have to be apart for a few more months. Then it's summer back at home, and then college." I said, trying my best to hide my excitement.

"Well, yeah, summer will be awesome... but then we're gonna be apart again Clare." Eli said, intertwining his fingers with mine and smiling sadly at me.

"What do you mean?" I said slyly, grabbing my purse and whipping out an envelope.

Eli gave me a confused look. I handed him the envelope. He slowly opened it, unfolding the enclosed letter.

"Dear Clare Edwards, we are pleased to offer you acceptance into our psychology program here at University of Florida-" Eli abrubtly stopped, looking at me with wide eyes.

"What? You honestly didn't think I would go somewhere else did you?" I teased.

Eli pulled me into a tight hug.

"We just have to get through the next few months. I can visit every few weekends." I said.

"Clare, you don't have to do that. That's a lot of weekends you're giving up." he said. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you kidding me? I have nothing to do, and there is no where on earth I'd rather be. I'll walk if I have to." I said.

Eli smiled. "That's good, because there isn't much to do around here on weeekends either but go to parties. And I am definately not the party type."

"That's one of the things I like about you." I said, giggling.

_If I could fall_

_Into the sky_

_Do you think time_

_Would pass me by_

_'Cause you know I'd walk_

_A thousand miles_

_If I could_

_Just see you_

_Tonight _


	24. Rather Be With You

** Sorry I haven't updated in awhile! For the time being, I'm only updating this story (because oneshots are easy and don't take much time) and my other story The Things I Do For Him. Just because it's easier to only focus on a few stories at a time.**

** BTW, this song has nothing to do with eclare, but it was fun to play around with. There aren't many songs like this one, so this was one of my favorite oneshots to make.**

** Song: Rather Be With You**

** Artist: Vanessa Hudgens**

_He sends a friend to ask me if I'm interested_

I was at my locker when I sensed someone approaching. I looked down the hallway and sure enough, Eli was approaching me. I practically dropped the math book in my hands at the sight of him.

_Calm down Clare_, I told myself. Not many guys had the power to make me turn into a total nervous wreck just at the sight of him. I smoothed my hair, trying to look natural but it probably looked forced and awkward.

"Hey Clare." Eli said, smirking at me. My palms started to sweat.

"H-hey." I replied, swallowing audibly.

"So, uh, you know Adam right?" Eli said, turning around and motioning at a guy at the end of the hallway. He was at his locker, when Eli pointed at him, he awkwardly waved at us. I sorta waved back.

"Y-yes, I know Adam. H-he was in our English g-group last quarter, right?" I asked nervously. Trying to form a sentence while looking in Eli's emerald irises was nearly impossible.

"Oh yeah, he was. Well anyways, he's kinda got a thing for you." Eli said. "So, I'm being the wingman. He wanted to know if you wanted to go to the movies tonight."

_You say "He's the guy, you caught his eye_

_But he's afraid to come over he's a little shy so,_

_Why don't you come talk for a while?"_

"M-movies?" I asked. Eli nodded.

"You could go tell him your answer yourself if you wanted. He's a little shy." Eli said.

"Um..." I said, my voice trailing off. Adam was sweet, but I wasn't into him like that.

_But I see your smile baby_

_The messenger my take the prize_

_And you see the look in my eyes_

Eli's smirk melted into a warm, pleading smile.

"Come on. Just one little date?" Eli said. I almost forgot he was talking about a date with Adam.

"Um... I guess." I said.

"Okay, go tell him." Eli said.

"S-sure." I said, closing my locker. I started to walk towards Adam when I sensed Eli following behind me. I stumbled.

_I'd rather be with you, baby_

_You know what you're doing to me_

_You're the one, the only one_

_That sets it all on fire_

_Yeah you, baby_

_(and I can see you want to be with me)_

_Yeah you know what I'm saying is true_

_I'd rather be with you_

"You okay?" Eli asked.

"Y-yeah. Clumsy me." I said, laughing nervously. Eli started to walk alongside me. My breath kept catching in my throat.

I stopped in front of Adam's locker. He smiled shyly at me.

"I'll go to the movies with you." I said, trying to sound cheery but my voice had a note of disappointment in it.

"Really? Awesome. I'll pick you up at 7:00!" he said excitedly, walking away happily. I sighed.

"Are you really into him?" Eli asked suspiciously.

"Um, not entirely..." I said.

"Well, it's nice you at least agreed to a date. He's an nice guy but not too many girls go for him."

"O-oh." I said.

Eli started walking after Adam. I turned around towards him.

"Oh, and just because I'm the wingman, doesn't mean I don't have similar feelings for you." he said, winking as he turned around and walked away.


	25. Miss Invisible

**Hey guys! It's been such a long, busy week! And I hate how it's Friday and there is no new Degrassi! Urgh. February seems so far away.**

**Anyways, I haven't updated this story in awhile and I really like this song so I decided to make a long oneshot for it. Thanks for being patient with me while I focus on other stories. This one is kind of just a side project.**

**Song: Miss Invisible**

**Artist: Marie Digby**

_There's a girl  
Who sits under the bleachers  
Just another day eating alone_

Clare approached the abandoned bleachers. She weaved her way under the wooden beams of the bleachers and sat down. She pulled her lunch out of her backpack and picked at it.

She found it funny how other's wished for such pointless things like the new iPod or for their parties to turn out well. They had people who cared about them. They had everything she didn't.

_And though she smiles  
There is something just hiding  
And she can't find a way to relate_

As she sat, picking at her lunch, alone under the bleachers, she fantasized about being popular. For everyone to know her name, for her cell phone to always being blowing up with calls and texts from friends, and for _him _to actually like her. Maybe, just maybe if she had those things, she wouldn't be doing _this_ to herself. She wouldn't have to pour out her pain and loneliness through deep cuts on her wrists. They were silent screams, desperate cries for someone to take notice, for someone to understand her.

But instead, she walks down the halls with a smile on her face, just acting like everything is okay. No one notices and no one bothers to help her out.

_She just goes unnoticed  
As the crowd passes by  
And she'll pretend to be busy  
When inside she just wants to cry_

After lunch, Clare went to her locker to grab her books for her afternoon classes. She can feel the tears starting to well up in her eyes, but she pushed her emotions to some other part of her and put on that same, fake smile. People passed by her, laughing with their friends on the way to their classes. Couples passed by holding hands. And _he _stood just feet away, at his locker, completely oblivious to the fact that she was staring at him. Completely oblivious to the fact that the girl that is absolutely in love with him, is planning to kill herself after school that day.

_Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible  
Look a little closer, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes  
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible  
Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day  
When you'll ask her her name_

Put he had noticed her. She was in his English class and sat right behind him. He saw past all the fake happiness she surrounded herself in. He had even noticed the cuts on her wrist one day, when her sleeve fell down when she reached for the papers his teacher had passed down the row to her. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know how. He wanted to see a real smile on her face.

While he was at his locker, he quickly glanced at her. Once again, she was wearing her dishonest smile. He saw that her eyes were shiny with tears. He didn't know the girl at all, but he hated seeing her like this. He had to do something.

Eli slammed his locker shut and walked across the hall to her. She was grabbing her books out of her locker. He reached in front of her and grabbed them for her, tucking them under his arm with his own books. He gave her a warm smile.

"Hi, I'm Eli. Mind if I walk with you to class?" he asked kindly.

Little did he know that that very smile had just saved a life.


	26. Bring Me to Life

**Thanks for the awesome reviews for my last oneshot; you guys seemed to really like it! I was overwhelmed with the great response I got from all of you. **

**I really love this song, it's been one of my favorite songs for a few years now. It's really dark, so I had to make it an oneshot!**

**Song: Bring Me to Life**

**Artist: Evanescence**

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb  
Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
Until you find it there and lead it back home_

_(Eli's POV)_

She was dead inside. The bastard that raped her not only took her faith and virginity, he took _all_ of her. He had killed her but left her body living. She was a hollow, afraid version of what she used to be. She never smiled. She never laughed. She barely even talked. And I'm supposed to be her for there, be the supportive and comforting boyfriend. But it's so hard. The girl I used to be in love with isn't there anymore. And if I dumped her, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

This is why I have no choice but to bring the old Clare back. It won't be easy and it'll take lots of time and tears, but I have to. Everyday, I'm mourning the loss of the old Clare. So I try to get her to open up to me, maybe if she stopped keeping all the horrific details of her rape to herself she would be able to move on. She usually just mumbles that she doesn't want to talk about it, but I won't give up. I will get her to talk about it.

_(Clare's POV)_

"Clare…" he reached down and intertwined his fingers with mine. I stared at our hands. The contrast was shocking. His were warm and slightly tanned, mine were pale, cold and shaky. They almost looked… _dead._

How was it possible to feel so unreal? Like you don't exist? Everyday I feel like I'm living someone else's life and watching as a bystander. The only thing that brings me back to reality is the hallucinations. They _terrorize_ me. They _control_ me. I can't _escape_ them.

And I know none of this is fair to him. This didn't happen to him it happened to me but he has to deal with me.

"Eli… you don't… you don't deserve this." I said emotionlessly, letting go of his hand. "I'm… I'm so sorry."

"Clare…" he said, his voice trailing off. "Don't be sorry."

I looked at him. "You deserve someone better."  
"Clare, I don't want anyone else. And this isn't your fault."  
I bit my lip. There was a long silence and he motioned for me to reply but I didn't. This is how most of our conversations ended. I found I could only talk for a certain amount of time before it all just got too unbearable. I stared at the floor, and I could hear him sigh.

Even though I couldn't talk to him now about it, I hoped one day I would be. If I could tell him, I would be able to get over this. Maybe the hallucinations would stop. I could start _living_ again. But talking about it is reliving it, it would be like the worst hallucination possible. Which is why I couldn't. Not yet.

__

Wake me up  
(Wake me up inside)  
I can't wake up  
(Wake me up inside)  
Save me  
(Call my name and save me from the dark)

Wake me up  
(Bid my blood to run)  
I can't wake up  
(Before I come undone)  
Save me  
(Save me from the nothing I've become)

(Clare's POV)

We were sitting outside at lunch at a picnic table when it happened. All my senses were cut off, and I was back _there_ again.

"_Get off of me!" I tried to scream but my throat was too dry for it to make much of a sound. I tried to fight him off of me but he was so big. He was everywhere. I felt the terrible anxiety hit me like a bullet in the chest when I realized what was going to happen. This was a fight I was not going to win._

_It was pointless to try to fight against him. My wrists were up above my head and pinned to the ground by his strong, muscular hands. He grabbed some duct tape off of the nightstand next to us and taped my wrists together. I tried to scream again but once again, it didn't make much of a sound._

_I couldn't see his face, which was the worst part. I didn't know who was doing this to me. It was such a terrible cliché that he was wearing a ski mask _

_He unbuttoned my pants. I felt like I couldn't move either. I was putty in his hands. He could do whatever he wanted to me, and there was nothing I could do about it. I squeezed my eyes shut_. This is just a nightmare, I'll wake up soon_, I told myself._

_Afterwards, I was left, broken and battered on the floor. I couldn't move, I felt paralyzed. He had left awhile ago after he had finished with me, but he had taken me with him. He had taken my spirit. He had taken everything from me._

"Clare, it's okay." Eli said soothingly, rubbing my back in circles as he held me. I snapped out of the hallucination. During my hallucinations I usually screamed or something, so Eli knew when they were happening. I sighed in relief that the hallucination was over, but then I grimaced as I realized it wasn't really over. It would never be over, not until I told him.

"Eli…" I said, my voice sounding absolutely desperate. "I'm ready… I'm ready to tell you."

He held my hands tightly, his eyes were wide. "Are you sure?"  
"Yes."


	27. Homecoming

**Artist: Hey Monday**

**Song: Homecoming**

_Homecoming, I'm coming  
My sweet mistake  
Summer's over, hope it's not too late  
I'm pacing, impatient  
Up in my head  
Taken back to the sidewalk where we met_

Exactly five years ago, Eli and I had made a sort of vow that we would stay in Toronto and go to the same college after high school ended. We didn't want to be seperated during the school year, and it was just simpler to stay home and go to a local college. After he graduated, I still had a year of high school left. He went to Toronto University and I finished up school and then got accepted there. Things were going great: we barely ever fought and when we did it was minor, we spent a ton of time together, and we had a whole life mapped out together.

But, I started to get bored. You would think I'm the type of person who would love that my entire life is mapped out and I would never have any more choices to make. But I couldn't stand it. He never did anything specifically wrong, but I had to get out of Toronto. I didn't want to spend my entire life there. I _couldn't._ So the day before my first day of college at Toronto University, I ran away. Leaving a mess behind for Eli.

At first, I missed him and I felt terrible. I ran away to the States, and got a job as a hostess at a fancy restaurant. I was miserable at first, barely able to pay the rent for the small apartment I rented and beyond lonely. But then I met Jeremy. In a lot of ways, he kept me from going home to Toronto and kept me somewhat happy in the States. After awhile though, I realized I really wasn't in love with him as I had thought. I left my heart back in Toronto.

So after three and a half years of struggling to get by and fake romance, I packed my stuff up and went home. I didn't even tell Jeremy, and I know I must have crushed his heart too. I had broke two people's hearts because of my stupidness. After I got settled back at my mom's house, I set out to find out where Eli was. For all I know, he could have moved away too. But I was able to contact Adam, and he told me Eli was still living in Toronto. He gave me his address, but told me not to bother if I was just going to do what I did before. I got the impression that Eli was a wreck after I left, and I had to make up for that.

I spent weeks contemplating what I would say and do when I saw him again. I couldn't think of a good worded apology that would make up for everything. Not that I expected an apology to make everything okay again, but I had to start with that.

One day, I decided it was time just to go to his house and just go from there. I was beyond nervous as I pulled up to the apartment complex where he now lived, and it took me a good hour before I was able to get out of the car. I walked up two flights of stairs to his room, number 312, and knocked timidly on the door. I was about to chicken out and go back home, when the door flew open.

I gasped under my breath when I saw him. He looked _so_ different. He had a goatee, which oddily suited him, and he had cut his hair. It was also back to his nautral color of light brown. He also wasn't wearing _any_ black. He wore a red t-shirt and white basketball shorts. For a second, I almost thought it wasn't him. But when I looked into his eyes, I knew it was. They were the same emerald green. That part of him hadn't changed at all. I could feel my heart thumping in my ears.

"Hi. Can I help you?" he asked, sounding impatient. My jaw fell open but I quickly snapped it shut. He didn't _recognize_ me!

"Um… n-no. Sorry I bothered you. I must have the wrong apartment." I said quickly, starting to walk down the long hallway towards the stairs.

How could he not recognize me? I hadn't changed as nearly as much as he had. I still had short, curly hair and my style hadn't changed at all!

I stopped walking when I heard him chuckle darkly. I froze.

"I know it's you Clare." he said. I slowly turned towards him, my cheeks flushing red.

"I… I thought you didn't recognize me." I said, sounding dumb. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the threshold of his apartment.

"Right." he said, rolling his eyes slightly.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "I… I don't know why I came… sorry."

"So you're back in Toronto?" he asked, stopping me from leaving. I stared at the ground.

"Yeah."

He chuckled again. "That's… funny."

"F-funny?" I asked.

"That you're back to destroy someone else's life, Blue Eyes." my throat tightened at the nickname he always used to call me by. His voice was acidic.

I lowered my eyes back to the ground. "I'm _so_ sorry Eli."

"I don't need your pity." he said. "So if you just came to get this off your conscious, go home."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. "My conscious is the last of my problems right now."

Eli sighed. "Go home Clare."

I felt a tear fall down my cheek. "P-please, I just want to explain."

Eli was silent for a bit. "Fine."

I sighed, wiping my eyes. "Can I come in?"

He walked into the apartment, leaving the door wide open. I took that as a yes. I slowly walked inside, closing the door behind me.

To say his apartment was a mess would be an understatement. He obviously had gone right back to hoarding, after we had spent months trying to clean out his room and get him to throw everything away. I sighed at the mess. He pushed a pile of stuff off of a small loveseat in what I guessed was the living room and gestured for me to sit down.

I awkwardly walked over to it and sat down. He pushed another pile of stuff off a couch and sat down across from me. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. I cleared my throat.

"Um, I don't know where to start." I said, staring at my hands in my lap.

He didn't say anything for a bit.

"Why'd you leave when things were going so well? Do you… do you have any idea what… what that did to me?" he said, his voice rising in absolute anger towards the end. I sunk back into the loveseat.

"All I can say is that I'm so sorry Eli. It took me this long to realize I was stupid and I really really wish I could make it up to you somehow."

"You never will. That was four _damn_ years Clare!"

I felt tears well up in my eyes again. I could felt my lip start to quiver but I bit it.

"Just tell me one thing." he continued. His voice sounded eerily calm all of a sudden. "Why did you do it?

"It… it just freaked me out that we had everything planned out. All the way up to marriage. I… I got scared and left." I whispered.

"And you didn't talk to me first? If you would have just told me we could have made things less serious Clare! How could you be so stupid?"

"I'm sorry." I repeated lamely.

He dropped his arms. "Okay. Get. Out."

I looked up at him, alarmed. "What?"

"Well, at least I know why now. Another day won't go by where I have to wonder what I did wrong. So, now that that's settled, get out. I'd like to start _living_ again." I now noticed that his eyes were teary as truth hit me. I knew I had hurt him badly, but I never knew I had _destroyed_ his life.

"Eli…" I said, my voice trailing off.

"I _don't _want to hear it!" he yelled, pointing a finger at me.

"So that's it?" I asked. "We're really done? We're never gonna talk again?"

"We were done four years ago Clare." he said, practically shoving me out the door.

"_Please_ Eli!" the tears were definitately falling now. "Now that I see what I really did to you, I feel… like a monster! Please! I won't be able to live with myself knowing this now. But worse then that, it took me this long to realize I can't live without you, period! I was so stupid Eli! So stupid and I understand you hate me or whatever but please! I am still in love with you and if there is anyway I could give you those four years back believe me I would!"

He stared at me for a moment. "I don't know what to say."

I blinked. "Say you'll at least let me back into your life, maybe just as friends. I… _need_ you Eli." I sounded pitifully desperate, and I had never sounded so hopeless.

"I don't know if I'm gonna regret this later, and feel like the biggest idiot. But…" he didn't finish the sentence. Because he grabbed me by my shoulders and kissed me.


	28. Waking Up in Vegas

** Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, so busy with holiday crap. ):**

** BTW, this story takes place when Eli is 19 and Clare is 18.**

** Artist: Katy Perry**

** Song: Waking Up in Vegas**

_You gotta help me out  
It's all a blur last night  
We need a taxi 'cause you're hung-over and I'm broke_

I woke up slowly. There was a bright sunlight beaming directly on my face, making my face hot. I groaned and flipped over, pulling the covers over my head. Why would I have left the curtains open last night? I never do that.

I stuck my arm out of the covers, clawing at the air in search for my bedside table. I couldn't find it so I pulled the covers off of me. I was blinded for a moment while my eyes adjusted. Then I realized, this was not my bed, and this was not my room. I let out a surprised gasp. I looked down. I was _bare naked._ I immediately pulled the white sheets back over me to cover up.

Something got caught on the sheets. I looked at my left hand. My purity ring had been replaced with a cheap-looking white ring with a very small crystal. I screamed.

I then heard someone else groan. My head snapped over to the space next to me. I could see Eli's head sticking out of the other end of the bed, and his feet were on the pillow. I screamed again.

He threw a pillow at me, which hit me in the face and fell to the floor. I picked the pillow up and started hitting him with it, repeatedly.

"Wake up!" I screamed.

His head snapped up, his eyes wide open. He muttered an "ow" and closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

"Eli…" I whispered, horrified. "What happened?"

I got up from the bed, wrapping a sheet around myself and inspected the room. My cheeks flushed red as I saw that my lacy and way too sexy bra that I had bought way back freshmen year as a way of getting over KC, was lying on the floor. I hadn't worn it since then. I also saw a black _thong_ lying on the other side of the room. I hadn't seen it before in my life. I quickly picked them up. I then found my red purse lying on the small couch next to the door of the room. I stuffed them in there.

Eli had collapsed back on the bed, falling back to sleep. I smacked him with the pillow again, forcing him to wake back up.

"Stop." he groaned. I grabbed him by his hair. He whimpered.

"What the _hell_ happened?" I screeched. I let go of his hair and he fell back on to the bed.

"Oh god, I think I'm gonna-" he abruptly stopped talking and hopped out of the bed, running towards the bathroom at the back of the room. He was bare naked too and didn't bother to cover up. I felt my cheeks flush red.

I heard him throwing up. I found one of my shirts under the bed and pulled it on. I couldn't find any of my other clothes though. I collapsed on the couch, the sheet still draped over me, as I rubbed my temples. This was _not_ happening.

He stumbled out of the bathroom, wiping his mouth. He had a bath towel wrapped around his waist now.

"What is this?" I cried, holding up my left hand. He stumbled closer to me, grabbing my hand. His eyes widened when he saw it. He quickly dropped my hand and inspected his own. He was wearing a ring too.

He then looked around the room. He stumbled over to the window on the other side of the room. I followed him.

"Where are we?" he asked, just as confused as I was.

"I don't know! I don't remember anything!" I cried.

He collapsed back on the bed. I started pacing.

I then grabbed my purse and dumped out its contents. I grabbed my wallet. It was empty. Not any sort of money was in it. My cell phone was also among the pile of stuff I dumped out. Its battery was missing.

"No no no. This is _so_ not happening!" I said.

_Spare me your freakin' dirty looks  
Now don't blame me_

I rolled my eyes at her. My head felt fogged up. I had experienced hangovers before, but this was worse then any of them. The room was spinning and I was still nauseous.

"Do you have an Advil or something?" I asked.

She stopped pacing and turned towards me, throwing up her hands.

"No I don't have an Advil!" she mocked sarcastically

I held up a hand in defense. "Just asking, God."

"Um, hello!" she screeched. "We did something _bad! Really bad!_"

"Life will go on." I grumbled.

She jumped on the bed. Grabbing my hand and tearing the ring off of it and chucking it at me.

"WE GOT MARRIED, MORON!" she yelled.

"I know." I said.

She shot me a dirty look. "This is your fault."

I sat up. "My fault? I don't remember what happened either but I doubt I forced you to do any of this."  
"B-but… you probably took advantage of me!"  
"Come on Clare." I said, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, right."

"UGH!" she cried, falling over on to the couch, burying her head in her hands. She started crying, her shoulders shaking with sobs. I felt a pang of guilt. I got off the bed and walked over to her, sitting down next to her. I squinted from the bright sunlight, and my head started pounding again. I started rubbing her back but she smacked my hand away. I sighed.

"Clare, we'll get through this. It's not the end of the world." I said. "I mean, there are worse things then being married to me."

She brought her hands away from her face.

"I'm pretty sure we _slept _together. I don't even remember it!" she choked out, and started crying again.

"Well, I'm sorry." That was all I could think of to say.

_Shut up and put your money where your mouth is  
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas  
Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now  
That's what you get for waking up in Vegas_

"And, where in hell are we?" I screeched. I hopped off the couch, tears still streaming down my face. I flunged open the door of the room. I stepped out into the hallway of what looked like a cheap motel. I groaned, stepping back into the room and slamming the door shut.

Eli was looking through the drawer of the small bedside table that was on his side of the bed. He found what looked to be a brochure or some sort and started reading it.

He turned back around, holding up the brochure.

"Apparently we're at a motel in… Vegas." he said.

"_Vegas?_" I screeched, running a hand through my hair. "Of course!"

He sighed.

"How did we get here? This is at least 5 hours away from Toronto... by plane!"

"I don't know Clare!" he said, growing impatient.

"I cannot believe I woke up in Vegas! Married to _you_!"

"Gee thanks." he said sarcastically.

I sighed. "This is just so awkward… we broke up last year."

"Well, if you hate the idea of us being married so much, we'll just get divorced."

"Do you not remember why we broke up?" I asked. "Because we were going to different colleges. Not because we wanted to."

"Yeah."

"And… now we're kind of_… tied_ to each other."

"And your point is?" he asked.

"I'm not saying I'm ready for marriage… but I did miss you, a lot."

"What are you saying?"

"I guess… this came as a surprise obviously… but I want to get to know you again." I swallowed, hard.

"Well, _Mrs. Goldsworthy_, I'd be okay with that." he teased.

"Shut up." she said, but she was smiling.

** A/N: Okay, I hated how this ended but I wasn't sure how to end it. I apologize for the crappy ending. ): Please review though.**


	29. Goodbye to You

Aw man, my iPod picked a sad song. Sorry guys. ): But the last 5 or so have been happy so one sad one isn't so bad.

Song: Goodbye to You

Artist: Michelle Branch

_Goodbye to you  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
You were the one I love  
The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

I wanted to believe he was over Julia. He wanted to believe it too. But I saw all the signs. How unbelievably hard it was for him to clean up his room and get rid of Julia's old stuff. How even when it was thrown out and sitting in the garbage can on the curb, he went and retrieved it when I wasn't around and then hid it. How even the mention of her made him act really strange. How he kept her picture next to his bed and that there was no pictures of me in his room. How he always seemed so distant. He was still in love with her. And I can't keep lying to myself anymore, thinking he is going to get over her soon. Because he _won't._ Eli and Julia's relationship must have been way more intense then I thought. And it absolutely _sucks _to know I will never be able to take her place. No one will.

So, I have to break up with him. This isn't fair to me or him for that matter. He won't be able to heal, no matter how much both of us want him too. And our relationship is going anywhere. I _can't_ do this anymore.

I walked up the few stairs to his front door. I took a moment to compose myself, and knocked softly on his door. I sucked in a shaky breath as the door flew open.

"Clare. Hey. Come in." he said, smiling a bit at me. I stared at the ground as I walked in. He followed me into his living room. His smile faded as he sensed something was up.

"What's going on?" he asked softly, sitting on the couch across from the one I was sitting on.

I swallowed hard. "We need to talk."

I took my eyes off the floor and looked at him. He had grown pale. His emerald eyes were full of sorrow.

"What? Clare… _don't _do this." he pleaded, sounding absolutely hopeless. My heart was telling me not to do this, but my mind was telling me that this was what was best. I always listened to my mind before my heart.

"Eli… I'm sorry. But… this needs to… end. I can't keep dating you when you're in love with someone else." I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes. This was beginning to get a lot harder then I thought it was going to be.

"What? Clare, I'm not in love with anyone but you!"

"Eli… you can't keep denying it. You're still crazy about Julia… and I can't keep sitting around thinking you're going to get over her eventually. I don't know when or if you will… but I need to be with someone who isn't in love with their ex… I'm sorry."

"I'm not still in love with Julia!" he said, hopping off the couch. "She's _dead_!"

Suddenly, he froze. He stared at the finger he had pointed at me, and dropped his hand. Then he looked from the floor, to me. Then he turned around towards the wall, running his hands through his hair furiously.

"Eli…?" I said, my voice trailing off. It was like all of this had just hit him.

"Oh my God." he mumbled, horrified.

I stood up, not knowing what to do. He dropped his hands, as he stared out the window.

"I'm sorry Eli. Goodbye." I said, softly, feeling a tear drop down my cheek.

He turned towards me. "She's… she's really dead."

I stared at him, confused. "This is exactly my point… you need to take care of yourself Eli."

He turned back around. Not saying anything else. I slowly slipped out the front door.

Everything had been a lie. He had never been in love with me.

**A/N: Okay, that was a little confusing. All that time, he had been denying that she was really dead. He was in denial. Then when he said that she was dead out loud, it really hit him. He did have feelings for Clare, but he didn't love her. He was still in love with Julia. And he was only with Clare to try to force himself to move on. Sorry that was so difficult to understand and depressing. Please review!**


	30. My Best

**Happy Holidays! I hope to update a lot over winter break, so this is the first of many!**

**Song: My Best**

**Artist: Vanessa Carlton**

_My lover or friend,  
I won't ever tell  
Our secrets safe_

_Though you're not mine  
Upon your shoulder I can rest_

_Hey Clare, how are you?_ The text message read.

I smiled. Those happened to be my five favorite words. That was our "code-phrase." The phrase that meant so much more then just asking how I was.

It meant _she _wasn't going to be home all day. By she, I mean Eli's wife. It meant I could over to his house and be with him. It meant that for at least a day, we could spend time together. A little over a year ago, we decided we couldn't stay apart anymore. The only problem was that Eli's wife was just important to him then I was to him. He couldn't decide between us. Before you call him a man-whore or a cheater or two-timer, just hear me out.

The way Eli sees it, he has two soul mates. Most people would find that absurd and completely not fit for this society, but I understand it. I too have someone else in my life: my boyfriend. But Eli and I have a special connection that no one would understand but us. And I do not mind having to sneak around. Just as long as I can be with him.

His wife though would obviously not be okay with this, which is why we establish the code-phrase. Her name was Caitlyn and she was very nosy. She was constantly checking Eli's phone, getting into his business. It annoyed him a lot, but he ignored it because he loved her. So we had to be very careful. She thought I was just his friend from work. That couldn't be farther from the truth.

I chucked my phone into my purse and grabbed my favorite plaid coat off the coat rack. I felt tingly and excited. I hadn't seen Eli in over two months, and it was the longest we had been apart. Everyday I woke up thinking that maybe this will be the day his wife has to go out of town on a business trip. And today I was right.

My boyfriend lived with me at a small apartment downtown. It was all we could afford but we were happy with it. He was off today, so I just told him I was going out with some friends. He didn't ask any further questions so I quickly left.

I parked my car in front of his house. It was rather big, since his wife's parents were rather wealthy and she had inherited a lot of money. I walked through the front garden up to the large door and rang the doorbell.

Within seconds, the door flew open. He stood there with a smirk on his face as he leaned against the doorframe. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt. His hair was messy, in that sexy way that I liked better then his hair being combed. I smiled.

"Long time no see." I said, reaching up and intertwining my fingers with his.

He shrugged teasingly. "I've been trying to get her out of the house but she was getting suspicious."

"That's okay." I said sort of sadly as my gaze fell to the ground.

He reached under my chin and forced me to look at him. He looked worried.

"It doesn't sound like everything's okay." he said. "Let's go inside."

He pulled me inside and shut the door behind us. I sighed as he led me upstairs to his bedroom.

He shut the bedroom door behind us. I sat down on his king-sized bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, coming over and grabbing my hand.

"It's just getting more and more difficult, you know? What happens when you have kids? You know, really settle down? What's gonna happen to us?" I asked, blinking back tears.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and looked away. "Caitlyn… she's uh… she's three months pregnant, already."

I shut my eyes tightly.

"Congratulations." I said, trying to sound happy for him.

He pulled me into a tight embrace. "You're right. It's gonna get harder."

A tear ran down my cheek. "You need to be with your family once the baby comes. I shouldn't be around."

"But… I want you to be around." he said, cupping my face and wiping the tears away.

"You shouldn't. I feel bad now." I said.

"Don't Clare. I don't want to have to say goodbye to you. Yeah, it'll be harder. But I'm sure they'll be days when they're all out of the house. It'll be even less frequent but it is what it is."

I sighed. "But we'll always be a struggle."  
"That's true." he confessed. "But whatever happens, I won't ever push you out of my life. I'll fight to be with you."

And with that, he kissed me.

A/N: Took a completely different path then I intended it to be. I think it turned out better though. Review por favor.


	31. Decode

** I was hoping I'd get this song soon! I absolutely love this song. It's my favorite by Paramore. And this oneshot is very Twilight-related, so I'm sorry for everyone who is reading this who isn't into Twilight.**

** And everyone had very mixed feelings about my last oneshot. Some people didn't like the whole idea of them cheating on their spouses. That's just how the oneshot ended up and it was what the song was about. Sorry.**

**Song: Decode**

**Artist: Paramore**

_How did we get here_

_When I used to know you so well?_

_How did we get here?_

_Well, I think I know_

I could hear her bounding up the front steps from inside the house. I could hear the words she muttered under her breath in frustration. I was standing just on the other side of the front door before she knocked. I was sick always knowing more then I should. It wasn't right. I don't want to be like this.

I opened the door just as she was knocking. She jumped back in surprise.

"I hate it when you do that!" she yelled. I knew she was getting sick of not knowing why I was so secretive.

"I'm sorry." I said sincerely, holding the door open. "Do you want to come in?"

She walked past me and bounded into the living room. "Yes, we need to talk."

I knew this talk was coming. I knew I would have to tell her about me. That I wasn't who she thought I was.

I closed the door quickly and walked over to her. I sat across from her.

"Go ahead Clare." I said, bracing myself for what she was going to say.

She sighed. I could smell her breath as she exhaled. It made my mouth water. Why did she always have to make herself so… appealing? If only she knew how difficult that made it for me. How it took all of my control to keep myself from biting through her flesh and getting to the forbidden fruit which was her blood.

"I need to know Eli. I can't be with you if you can't tell me." she said, her voice sounding desperate and tired.

I clenched my fists. "You don't want to know Clare. You just won't like what I'm going to say."

"I hate not knowing what this big secret is more. I'm your fiancée Eli… you have to tell me or you can have the ring back."

I felt my chest stab with pain. And I never felt pain.

"Fine. You really want to know?" I asked, hopping up.

She motioned for me to go on.

"After I tell you, you're going to give me back the ring anyways. It doesn't matter, either way I lose you." I whispered. I slammed my fist into the wall in frustration, though very lightly. It only made a hole. I could have taken down the whole house with that punch if I did it strong enough.

"You don't know that Eli. I love you. I'll accept whatever your secret is." she said softly. I didn't believe her though.

"I… just can't tell you Clare." I said softly after a long silence. I couldn't bring myself to say it.

She bit her lip and shook her head, sliding the ring off and placing it on my coffee table. I could see her eyes welled up with tears. I looked away.

I could hear her get up and smooth out her skirt. She started walking towards the door.

"Alright. Then I guess this is goodbye." she said, her voice thick with tears. I clenched the windowsill, practically ripping it off the wall as I tried to keep my control. I shook my head rapidly.

"No… I'll tell." I said.

"Okay… then go on." she said. I could hear the quiet sound of tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I'm… a monster." I whispered.

"No you aren't Eli." she said softly, coming over and grabbing my hand. I pushed her way gently. She looked hurt.

"You deserve better." I said.

"That's not true. I've never wanted anyone but you."

"I didn't want to fall for you Clare. All I do is put you in danger."

"It's nothing we haven't gotten out of. Now, please, just tell me."

"You know what I am. You have enough clues. You already know."

"So… you actually are what I'm thinking?" she asked. She didn't sound horrified like I thought she'd be.

"Yes. Say it." I said.

"Vampire?" she said questioningly.

I nodded and turned towards her. "I don't want to be this way Clare. It was never my choice."

"I know." she said. She grabbed my hand again. This time I didn't push her away.

"And I trust you. I know you won't hurt me. I'm not afraid of you, I know that's what you're thinking." she said.

"You should be afraid. Anyone else would be."

"I'm not everyone else. And no one else is in love with you but me. So they wouldn't get it."

"Would I scare you off by saying you're everything I've dreamed about for centuries? I'm not as young as you think you are. And would it scare you if I said you're my entire life?"

"No, for either. It's pretty obvious a lot of things don't scare me." she said, grinning at me.

"Then it's settled." I said, grabbing the ring and sliding it back on her finger. She smiled.

"You're not a monster. You're my angel." she whispered as she kissed me.

**A/N: You can all admit it, that was extremely corny and over the top fluff. It's kind of hard to make anything related to Twilight without having it at least a little bit corny. Oh well, please review. I want to know what you think.**


	32. Crazy Possesive

**Happy New Year! Today is my last day of winter break… *sigh***

** I honestly hate this song. It just came on the radio though and I thought it would make a good oneshot.**

** Song: Crazy Possesive**

** Arist: Kaci Battaglia**

_Call my man again and imma fuck you up,  
and imma fuck you up,  
__and imma fuck you up.__  
__Touch my man again and imma fuck you up,__  
and imma fuck you up.  
And then you call me your best friend,  
and then you call me your best friend_

Jenna always has to have what's mine. She has all the same friends I do, she is in all my classes and she took KC from me.

And now she wants Eli.

I could feel the anger boiling in my veins. I wasn't going to let that happen again. _I wasn't._

She always giggled like some boy-obsessed valley girl around Eli. She also had his number and texted him all the time asking about homework and stuff.

I wasn't stupid. The only homework she wants help on is how to get Eli to like her.

And now she has the nerve to make flirty eyes at him across the gym at a school dance? While him and I are slow dancing? Is she crazy?

Well, I know what'll make _her_ blood boil._  
_I grabbed Eli by the collar of his blazer and kissed him with as much passion

could muster. He wrapped his arms around my waist and things started to get _really heated._

I opened one of my eyes for a second to glance over at Jenna. She was dancing with KC, her eyes narrowed at us.

I broke the kiss. Eli stumbled back, catching his breath.

"Woah." he said, running a hand through his hair. "That was… amazing."

I smiled and was about to say something when Jenna edged herself between Eli and I. Her gigantic pregnant stomach took up enough room for three people.

"Eli!" she yelled loud enough to make wolves howl. "Like, ehmagod I haven't seen you in like-"

"Earlier today in biology class?" Eli asked emotionlessly. I crossed my arms and stepped around Jenna so I was standing next to Eli.

"Like totally!" Jenna said. "Don't you just hate our teacher she is just so-"

"Jenna." I snapped. "Eli and I were just about to go dance."

"Oh well have fun you too." she said with a hand on her hip as she looked away. "Oh, and save a dance for me Eli."

She _touched_ Eli's arm and then _winked_ as she walked away. I clenched my fists.

Eli reached down and grabbed my hand, forcing my hand open so he could intertwine his fingers with mine.

"Don't worry about her." Eli said. "I came here with you. So let's dance."

Eli and I started to dance again. I could feel Jenna's eyes boring into my back.

I turned around and looked at her. She was standing by the food table, her phone in hand. I saw her smirk at me as she walked away from the table.

A second later and I heard Eli's phone buzz, meaning he got a text. He shrugged and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He opened the text and practically dropped his phone in surprise.

"What is it?" I demanded, grabbing the phone from him. I felt a whole new level of rage course through me when I saw Jenna had sent him a photo of her with no top on.

I looked up at Eli. He shrugged.

"She sends those to me all the time. It's kind of creepy. She knows you and I are together. I asked her to stop numerous times."

"She's so _dead_." I said through clenched teeth as I edged my way through the crowd, heading towards where Jenna and KC sat on the chair lining the gym wall. Jenna saw me heading towards them and crossed her arms and smirked, obviously amused.

I raised my hand and smacked her across the face. She jumped back in surprise.

"I swear to god if you ever even talk to Eli again I'm going to _mess_ you up." I yelled. KC stared at me, wide-eyed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about you crazy bitch!" Jenna yelled back, standing up. KC tried to grab her shoulders to pull her back but she smacked his arms away.

By now, a small crowd was forming around us. Eli was rushing over to where we were.

"No one, especially Eli, wants to see your pregnant porn. It's disgusting, it's slutty and I don't think your boyfriend is gonna be pleased that your sending these to someone else's boyfriend."

"Yeah right. Stop begging for attention Clare." Jenna said.

But the damage was done. KC was digging through Jenna's purse for her phone. Jenna whipped around and tried to grab it from him.

"Clare, maybe we better go." Eli whispered as he tried to drag me away.

"There is no way I'm missing this." I chuckled as Jenna fought KC for her phone. KC was looking at something on it, and then his eyes widened even more. He looked up at Jenna, horrified. He then stood up and chucked the phone into the wall. Jenna and the crowd gasped.

"You _slut._" he barked at her. The crowd all erupted in "ooh's!"

"KC… I swear those were just-" he cut her off.

"Go to hell!" he yelled as he ran towards the exit. Jenna followed behind like a lost puppy.

She then stopped as KC slammed the gym door in her face. She turned towards me, her eyes glistened with tears.

I then grabbed Eli by the hand and dragged him to the dancefloor. Smiling over the victory.

**A/N: I actually liked how that turned out. I've never liked Jenna, her character just annoys me. Review please!**


	33. White Houses

**Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I hate school, and boys, for the moment.**

**Anyways, this is a really beautiful song and if you've never heard it I recommend you go listen to it right now. It's one of my favorite songs.**

**Song: White Houses**

**Artist: Vanessa Carlton**

_Crashed on the floor when I moved in  
This little bungalow with some strange new friends  
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin  
We promise each other it's 'til the end  
Now we're spinning empty bottles  
It's the five of us  
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust  
I can't resist the day  
No, I can't resist the day_

I dropped my old, beat-up suitcases by the door and quickly headed through the kitchen to the living room. I could hear Alli squeal excitedly before I even stepped in the room.

"Clare!" she jumped up from torn plaid couch and rushed towards me and pulled me into a rib-crushing hug. I hugged her back.

She stepped away and I looked around the small, dimly-lit room. The walls were yellowed with age, the fireplace had a crack in the middle of the mantle and the patio doors that lead to the backyard weren't in the best shape. But this would be home for the next few years, and I was beyond happy with it.

"I know it's not the best… but it's the only thing I could find in our price range. Even after we all pooled our money." she said, biting her lip. "But once we clean it up a bit… it'll feel like home."

I smiled. "I don't mind that's a little old and beat up. It's cute."

Alli gave me a quick tour of the house. There were only two bedrooms and one bathroom, so we weren't sure on how the sleeping arrangements were going to work.

"When are the guys going to be here?" I asked.

Alli had met a few guys in her college Economics class during her freshmen year, and had gotten to be good friends with them. There names were Drew, Adam and Eli. She and Drew were even dating.

And it had also been Alli's idea to move out of the college dorms and get their own place. I didn't go to the same college as her, but our two colleges were pretty close, distance wise. So she convinced me to move out of the dorms too. Alli and I had been best friends since freshmen year of high school, and she didn't want to be the only girl living in a house full of guys.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little freaked about living with three total strangers. I mean, I trust Alli when she says they're good people. But what if we didn't get along? Don't get me wrong, I'm excited too. What if we all get to be good friends? These next few years might be some of the best of our lives.

"Not until later. Drew had tickets to a basketball game or something and forced Adam and Eli to go along. Basketball isn't really their thing but they didn't want to waste the tickets." she shrugged as she was putting store-bought flowers in a vase. She set the vase down on the counter. The room was already perfumed with the smell of fragrant daises and lilies.

Alli and I spent the rest of the late afternoon and early evening sprucing up the house. The past owners had left quite a bit of old but still fairly usable furniture. At about 7:30, Alli got a call from Drew saying the guys would be there any minute.

I rushed into the first floor bathroom and cleaned myself up a bit. I had been working hard for the past few hours and looked like a hot mess. And I was a strong believer in first impressions so I didn't want the guys thinking I was a slob or something.

After I cleaned up, I went and helped Alli set up the small TV in the living room. A few minutes later, I heard loud, male voices from the other room. Alli ran into the kitchen excitedly while I took my time, feeling a little shy.

The three guys stood around the kitchen island, several suitcases were piled by the door. Alli kissed one guy with olive skin and brown hair, who must have been Drew. Another guy who was rather pale with reddish-brown hair and a rather girly look to him smiled politely at me, while the last guy, with olive skin and brown-black hair and long bangs sort of… smirked at me.

I found myself blushing a bit because of this.

Alli stopped sucking Drew's face and motioned towards me.

"Guys, this is Clare." she said, smiling. All three guys stuck out their hands to me. I walked over to them and shook Drew's hand, then the redhead's hand, then the guy with the teasing smirk, which I found to be kind of attractive.

"So, you're the famous Clare." the redhead said to me, smiling. "I'm Adam."

"I'm Drew, Adam's brother." Drew said, his arm around Alli. "And that's Eli."

Hmm, so smirk-guy was Eli? I looked over at him. He was still smirking, his jade eyes glittering with amusement. I gave him a small smile.

"So…" Alli said. "Why don't we break the house in?"

Drew raised his eyebrows. Adam and Eli started hollering obnoxiously. I saw Alli's eyes widen.

"Not like that you pervs! I meant, why don't we all get to know Clare?"

Adam and Eli looked at me and then started hollering again. Alli reached over and smacked them both upside their heads.

"Ugh, you guys are so gross. I meant like why don't we all have a few drinks and talk?"

Alli grabbed a bottle of wine off the counter. She handed it to Drew, who popped the cork off. Alli then started searching the cupboards for glasses but couldn't find any so we had to drink the wine out of plastic Dixie cups.

We then all sat down in the living room. After talking for a few hours, everyone was starting to get a little drunk. We as a group had all drank three bottles of wine.

After talking with the guys though, I found myself… intrigued by Eli. He was kind of the Goth type, wearing all black clothes and eyeliner and he told me he drove a hearse. He also seemed… mysterious. Like he was hiding something… something big.

But it wasn't my business, so I let it go. Around midnight, we all crashed on the floor. I slept only a few feet from Eli while Drew, Adam and Alli slept on the other side of the room.

_It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone  
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses_

I walked downstairs, my hair was a mess and I was only wearing an old t-shirt and shorts. I didn't think anyone was home because I thought everyone had classes today. So I was startled to see Eli in the living room, with a bag of chips, watching TV.

"Oh hey, I thought you had class today?" I asked, sitting down next to him and grabbing the bag out of his hand. I was about to grab a handful of chips when I realized the bag was still sealed shut. I looked over at Eli; he was staring blankly at the screen.

"Uh, everything okay?" I asked, opening the bag myself. He shut off the TV.

He ran a hand through his hair and then crossed his arms. I dropped the bag on the coffee table, and gave him my full attention.

"Yeah… that was just… a movie that was on TV that… brought back a lot of memories." he said. I nodded.

"Good or bad?" I asked.

"Both."

I looked down at his hands, they were sort of shaking. I looked back at his face. I didn't notice before, but his eyes did look very pained.

"Do… do you want to talk about it?" I asked. He shrugged.

I had been living in this house for a few months. During this time, Eli and I had become good friends. We had similar interests and he was always making me laugh. And I think I sort of liked him. So seeing him all upset, was just as unpleasant for me as it was for him to experience it.

He let out a long sigh. "I think… I think I should tell you about something."

I reached over and squeezed his hand and then let go. "I'm all ears."

He was quiet for a moment. Then he turned towards me.

"I… I used to have a girlfriend. Her name was Julia. We were together for a few years… and as corny as it sounds, she was _the one._ But uh, one night we got in a fight. Over something really stupid. And she left my house on her bike, really upset, and got hit by a car." he paused, his eyes seeming more pained then before. My heart ached at the site of this.

"And this… this was her favorite movie. She used to make me watch it… all the time. It… it just struck a nerve." he said quietly.

"I… I'm so sorry." I said quietly.

"Not your fault." he said.

"I know… it's just… I don't even know what to say." I said.

He sighed. "You're the only person I've told. I didn't tell Adam or Drew or Alli."

My mouth fell open a bit but I quickly snapped it shut. "Oh."

"Don't tell them please. I hate when people pity me." he said softly.

"S-sure. Your secret's safe with me."

He smiled. "Thanks Clare."

_Maybe I'm a little bit over my head  
I come undone at the things he said  
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt  
We were all in love and we all got hurt  
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat  
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat  
Boy, we're going way too fast  
It's all too sweet to last_

I moved my body to the beat. I wasn't really the hit-the-dance-floor type but it was my birthday party. I might as well have fun.

The entire house was packed full of people. People from my school, friends, people I didn't even know. Alli, Eli, Drew and Adam had planned the party. And when they said they were "going all out", they meant it.

Some guy I sort of knew from school asked me if I wanted to dance. I politely declined and made my way into the kitchen. Eli was sitting at the table, wearing his red blazer and eating a cupcake. I sat down next to him.

"Why are you in here?" I asked, grabbing the cupcake from him and taking a bite. I smiled. He looked up and sort of smirked.

"I just couldn't stand the bad pop music Drew decided to play." Eli said. "But it's your birthday, don't worry about me."

I shrugged. "Not my type of music either. But c'mon. Seeing as it is my birthday, you have to at least dance with me."

He raised his eyebrows. I got up and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the living room.

And just my luck, the song changed to a slower one. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist.

Eli and I… we weren't officially together or anything. But there was enough flirting going on between us all the time that we both realized we had feelings for each other. Well, I did, I don't know about him. He was always so complicated, and I was too afraid to ask him if he wanted to take it to the next step.

It was like some kind of puzzle. Where it was practically done but just needed one more piece to complete the picture of a sunny meadow. So there was a big jig-sawed space where the sun was supposed to be. And we couldn't find the sun.

After we had danced for a few songs, Eli and I went back into the kitchen. We grabbed a few beers, Eli chugged his while I sipped mine. He smirked at me.

"I don't think I've ever seen you completely wasted." he said, suggestively. I felt myself blush.

"Well, is it my birthday. I don't see why I shouldn't…" I grabbed another beer and chugged it. I dropped the bottle on the counter. Eli raised his eyebrows.

I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I downed another bottle quickly.

Eli smirked and crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter.

Alli and Drew and walked into the kitchen. Alli raised her eyebrows in disbelief as she saw me drinking.

"Alli!" I cried, my voice already slurred. I obviously had a really low-tolerance for alcohol.

"Eli! Trying to get her drunk?" she asked, giggling.

"No… no I'm not drunk." I protested. Eli just laughed.

And before I even realized I was doing, I was stumbling over to Eli and kissed him. He stiffened, shocked at first, and then started to kiss me back.

"I… I found the sun!" I cried, pulling away. Eli gave me a confused look.

"What?" he asked. I laughed and pulled him towards the doors that lead to the garage. The hearse was parked there.

I flung open the door and climbed into the back. I heard Eli ask what I was doing but I ignored him and yelled at him to get in.

I started peeling my black mini jacket off. Eli was in the process of climbing into the back when he practically fell after seeing what I was doing.

"Clare… I don't think… no, not when you're like this. I was kidding when I said you should get wasted" he said. I just ignored him and tore my shirt off.

"Eli… I like you. You like me. So let's do this…" my voice trailed off.

"Clare… no. I… I do like you but I'm not gonna do this." he protested, making his way to the door.

"Fine!" I cried, hurt. "Thanks for making my birthday special."

I saw his shocked expression as I went back inside.

_My first time, hard to explain  
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain  
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think_

I woke up with a pounding headache. I rolled over and groaned.

"You might wanna swallow this." Eli said, leaning over me and handing me a few white pills and a tall glass of water. I sat up and groaned in pain when the bright light stunned me.

"What… happened?" I asked, confused.

"You got wasted… tried to… seduce me and then passed out." he said, clearly embarrassed. I felt my own cheeks flush as I took the pills.

"You're kidding." I said in disbelief. But I had the thrashing headache to prove it.

"No… not really." he said as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "I had to drag you're unconscious self up here last night. Quite a way to end your birthday party."

I groaned. "Sorry."

"It's okay. But you also… kissed me." he said.

I felt my cheeks flush again. "I… I'm sorry."

I can't believe I don't remember that.

"Don't be." he shrugged. "We both know that was going to happen eventually."

"So… you're done playing hard to get?" I said, sort of angrily.

I looked up. His expression was blank.

"I needed time to get over Julia. Sorry." I mentally smacked my forehead. Why did I always have to sound like such a jerk?

"I… I understand. Sorry." I apologized, again.

He just smirked. "It's okay."

I set the water down on my bedside table. I stared at the table for a second and then turned around. Eli was now inches from me.

I jumped, startled. He just laughed.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him. "Don't you think we should have a first kiss that you can remember?"

He cupped my face and kissed me. I melted into him.

…

"Clare… we don't have to do this. You said you wanted to wait until marriage. I've fine with that." he said.

I tore off my purity ring and handed it to him. "It says 'True Hearts Wait.' I think as long as I'm giving it up to someone I truly I love… I think that's no different then waiting until marriage."

"Are you sure?" he asked, leaning closer to me. I nodded.

"I love you." I said softly before he kissed me. He pulled away.

"I love you too."

…

I stood in front of the house. The small, but perfect white house I had lived in for the past three years. Adam and Drew were pulling the old plaid couch out on of the house, where they would then leave it at the curb. I was overcome with a wave of emotion at the sight of this. I couldn't believe all of this was coming to an end.

Alli hugged me. "This is going to be so hard."

I sniffled, blinking back tears. "I can't believe we're all going in separate directions."

She smiled sadly. "We'll always be friends Clare. Even though I'm moving across the country."

"Call me anytime. I'd be happy to help you with your guy problems." I said. Her face fell.

"I… I'm sorry Alli." I said. Drew and her were splitting up because they were going to be across the country from one another and Drew didn't believe in long distance relationships.

"It's okay… we both knew it would happen eventually." she said sadly, her eyes welling with tears.

I felt even worse when I saw Eli walking out of the house with his last suitcase. Eli and I had agreed to split up too, because he was moving to the States to start an Autos business. It felt like everyone was moving on while I was left here, alone.

Eli threw his suitcase into the back of Morty and slowly walked over to me.

"Well, I guess it's time." he said sadly. I reached down and squeezed his hand one last time.

"This… sucks." I said, chuckling through my tears. Eli chuckled sadly too.

"We… we can still be penpals." he said, shrugging. I bit my lip.

"Not as great as what we had before." I said.

"No… but it is what it is." he said as we both walked over to Morty. He stood in front of the driver's door. We stared at each other for a second before he kissed my cheek.

I grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips, we pulled apart after a few seconds. I knew that didn't help at all but I had to.

"This is a lot harder then I thought it would be." I said sadly. He grimaced.

"I know." he said as he got into the car and closed the door and rolled down the window. Alli, Drew and Adam had gone back inside, already said their goodbyes to him.

"Well, I guess I better go." he whispered. I reached out and grabbed his hand one last time. He held it for a few seconds before he let go and started the car.

"Take care Clare." he said softly as he pulled out of the driveway.

I watched as the hearse disappeared down the road.

The turned around and looked at the white house.

All the nights we spent awake, being goofy and having fun. All the secrets we exchanged, all the kisses we shared, all the memories we made.

They would forever stay in the white house.

**A/N: Woo that was long! I really like how it turned out too. Please review!**


	34. When You're Gone

** GOSH, I HATE THE NEW TEENNICK PROMOS. It didn't help clarify anything, it just added to my confusion and made Clare look really bad. And Eli too. There are a ton of fangirls who are like CLARE I HATE YOU YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ELI DIE. Guys, c'mon, we all know Eli isn't the sanest boy who has ever lived. Just because Clare wants space doesn't make her evil or heartless. Most people don't attempt at suicide when their boyfriend or girlfriend says they want some space.**

** Therefore, Clare is stupid for not predicting how Eli would react and Eli is stupid for trying to kill himself over that. They are both stupid in their own ways.**

** Don't kill me for saying that, but that's my opinion. And that might not even be how things go down. Teennick likes to trick us by only showing things in their promos that make it look like something is going to happen when something completely different happens. **

** And I honestly doubt that Eli is going to die. He probably just gets really hurt. And I doubt it's the end of eclare too. Think of how much they have been through? And how much they honestly need each other? I doubt even something this big will be enough to break them up. **

** Like I said, Teennick enjoys giving us heart attacks, so don't freak out. Stay calm. February 11****th**** is almost here. (:**

** Anyways, this is a half sad half happy oneshot. Remember, my iPod always picks the songs that I use, so don't blame me. And it really relates to what I think the new promos, so I kind of based it off of that.**

** And sorry I haven't updated in quite some time. I've been sick plus the everlasting boy drama that likes to plague me and I have finals. :/ It's been hard to find time to write.**

** Sorry about this super long Author's Note. Some people really like to read Author's Notes and some would just rather skip it. So do what you want.**

** Artist: Avril Lavigne**

** Song: When You're Gone**

_I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
_

Eli came up behind me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and tugged me away from my locker. I looked up at him, confused.

"Um, hello?" I asked, chuckling slightly.

"I decided you and I need some time alone. Just the two of us." he said, smirking slightly. I found myself looking away from his gaze, to the floor, as we walked down the hallway.

He pushed open the front door of the school, breezing past the metal detectors. I heard one of the security people yell about where we were going but Eli kept tugging me along towards Morty. I felt myself sigh as he opened the passenger door for me and I sunk down into the seat.

He got into the driver's seat, still oblivious to the fact that I wasn't as excited as he probably would have hoped for. This was odd, considering he was usually really good at reading how I felt.

He started the car and backed out of his parking space and then left the parking lot. He drove in silence for a bit, his music filling the quietness, and stopped in front of the Dot.

I got out of the car without saying anything. Eli was already waiting for me as I walked up to him. He grabbed my hand and opened the door for me.

He ordered a black coffee for himself and a caramel macchiato for me, without even asking if that's what I wanted. I mean, it was one of my favorite hot drinks, but the fact that he didn't even ask sort of… annoyed me.

We got our drinks and left the restaurant. We walked down the street to the bench where we sat months before when we skipped school to finish our essays for English. Jeez, times were _so_ different back then.

We sipped our drinks in silence for a bit before Eli interrupted it with talk about throwing another party at the Church ruins. I nodded my head, not really saying much back. He then finally seemed to notice that I wasn't my usual self.

"Okay, what's wrong?" he asked softly, reaching for my hand again but I pulled it away.

"Nothing." I lied. "Just got a lot on my mind."

"Oh. Wanna talk about it?" he asked, so innocently that I felt a pang of guilt.

"No." I said, softly, trying to make my tone nicer.

"Well, anyways, my parents are thinking about going to Michigan for spring break, if we go, you should come with." he smiled.

"I'd have to see." I said softly, feeling my annoyance rise. He nodded, not noticing again.

"Oh, and Paramore is coming to Toronto next weekend. I could probably get tickets. It's not necessarily my kind of music, or yours, but I figured its kind-" I cut him off by jumping off the bench.

"Stop it!" I yelled. "You're _suffocating_ me!"

I immediately regretted the words once they were out of my mouth. His face crumpled into a look of hurt and confusion all mixed in one. I looked away, not being able to bear looking at him when he looked like that.

There was another moment of silence, but this one was insanely awkward. I spent the time debating whether I should apologize or leave.

"I… I'm sorry." he said, his voice thick with innocence again. I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes as I turned around.

"I… I have to go." I said, walking past him but he grabbed my arm. I smacked his arm away, even though I felt insanely like a jerk, and ran down the sidewalk.

…

It was now Friday, four days after the fight Eli and I had. Well, I wouldn't call it a fight, because there was no arguing, no yelling from _both_ of us.

I felt incredibly _mean._ I wouldn't describe Eli as a puppy, but it felt like I had just kicked one. The look on his face as I yelled at him was so innocent and hurt that I didn't know what to think of it. I mean, he was always Mr. Tough Guy. Seeing him actually purely hurt, not angry and hurt, was something I had never seen before. And something I never wanted to seen again.

He hadn't tried to call me or talk to me, and I hadn't tried to either. At school, we avoided each other; we didn't talk.

I'm sure he was insanely confused and I know he deserved and explanation, but I was just as confused as he was. For weeks all I wanted was for Eli to show some sort of sign that he liked me back, and now that he's my boyfriend and shows way more then that, it was an odd feeling.

But I wasn't mad at him. He might be mad at me, and I don't blame him. And it is true that I need space, but I don't want a complete separation from him.

_When you __walk__ away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?_

Monday morning, I had finally worked up the nerve to go talk to him. I walked down the hallway where his locker was, and he was there, opening his locker. I took a deep breath and approached him.

"Hi." I said softly. He didn't reply or look at me. I gulped.

"I… I think we need to talk." I continued. Now he looked towards me. His eyes were blank, unreadable.

"Please, save me the 'I still want to be friends' speech." he said, his voice sounding hopeless. I gave him a confused look, that was far from what I wanted to talk about.

"No! That's not what I meant when I said I wanted to talk. I just… wanted to explain to you what happened the other day."

"I don't need your pity." he spat, his voice growing acidic as he slammed his locker and stormed down the hallway.

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my __heart__ are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too_

When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through  
The day and _make it__ ok  
I miss you_

Eli and I had now not talked for a few weeks, and it had been a miserable few weeks. He acted like he didn't know me, completely blocking me out of everything. Adam had tried to talk to him for me, but Adam couldn't even get through to him.

I hadn't realized how sensitive Eli really was. It should have been obvious to me though. He was really hard to get to open up, but once he did, he was fragile. And he was obviously trying to spare him the pain of loss, like he had felt before.

But now he's gone. And there's nothing I can do to make him come back.

**A/N: Eh, I really don't like how that ended. I really didn't have a plan for this, except to base parts of it off the promo. Turned out a lot sadder then I wanted it to, sorry. That is no where near how the actual show is going to go, I know that for sure. Please review though. I hope to have another oneshot up later today.**


	35. No More to Hide

**Gosh, long time without a new oneshot. Sorry guys ): I kind of went through a phase where I hated writing oneshots, but I think I just hated writing songfic-oneshots so I'm going to go back to doing **_**whatever**_** like I've done a few times. My goal for this summer is to get to 100 Eclare oneshots so hopefully I can get there. I know I still have a long way to go!**

** Btw, for anyone who is wondering since there seems to be a Team Eclare, Team Emo and Team Cake war going on, I will always be 100% Eclare. I have loved several various couples from different shows and celebrities and whatnot, but I have never loved a couple as much as I have loved Eclare! I will always have hope for them! But if it came right down to it and I had to choose which couple I liked better, Cake or Emo, it would be Cake. I just know Imogen isn't going to be good for Eli and I'm sure a lot of other people feel the same way! Though, I don't see Clare and Jake working out that well either. He seems like either a rebound or a just a hookup/fling. **

** Anyways, my inspiration for this oneshot came from a lock. Like an actual combination lock. You'll see why. (:**

Eli and I hauled the last bit of junk to the curb. We were both carrying heavy boxes and I could feel my arms starting to give out. I groaned, exasperated, and dropped the box onto the pavement. Eli was just setting his box down at the edge of his driveway when he noticed me struggling and ran back over to me and picked up my box. He smirked as he started to walk back towards the end of the driveway.

"Too much for you, Blue Eyes?" he called over his shoulder.

I crossed my arms. "Uh, yeah. What did we put in that box? A body?"

Eli chuckled as he set the box on top of the other one. "Yeah. We found it under my bed, remember?"

I laughed. "Well, thanks for saving me from that box. Both of my arms would have fallen off if I had to carry that the rest of the way."

Eli was staring at the boxes, then turned around and smirked.

"Isn't that why you love me? Because of my incredible strength and muscles?" he tried to joke, but his tone didn't sound like his usual fake thrasonical voice that he used whenever we had playful moments like this. I frowned, feeling like such a jerk for joking around.

"Awh, Eli. I'm so sorry I know this is probably weird for you right now and I shouldn't be acting like this-" Eli cut me off with a small, sad-ish smirk as he walked over to me.

"Clare," he said, standing in front of me "It's okay."

I sighed. "Sorry."  
"Stop that." he said, his lips turning up into a bigger smirk-smile. "I'm glad it's all over now. It was just weird knowing those were the last boxes."

He paused. "We finally did it!" he said, sounding happier.

I smiled up at him.

"You mean _you _did." I paused. "I'm so proud of you."

Eli just chuckled lightly. "I couldn't have done it without you."  
I jabbed a finger into his chest lightly. "Now it's your turn to stop it. This is your moment. Don't bring me into it and spoil it."

He held up his hands defensively. "Hey, it's true though. I'd still be buried under a pile of stuff if it weren't for you."

I shut him up by kissing him lightly on the lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck. We pulled away after several seconds, but kept in the sweet embrace. I rested my head on his chest, but looked back up at him when a thought popped into my head.

"Actually Eli, there's still something else you have to do." I said, pulling away from him but grabbing his hand and dragging him back towards his house.

"What?" he asked, surprised. I opened the front door and we walked over to the stairs.

"It's actually the biggest part, but I know you can do it." I said, as we started walking up the stairs. I felt Eli's hand tighten around mine.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, holding on to me tight enough that I couldn't continue on to the next step. I looked down at him, his eyes frantically searching mine for an answer. I immediately felt terrible and stepped back down and cupped his face.

"The lock, Eli." I whispered. Eli relaxed a bit but he looked down at the floor.

Then all of a sudden he stepped around me and led me up the stairs. I followed him to the end of the hallway, where his room was. He stood by the door, and grabbed the unlocked lock off the door.

He stared at it for a few seconds, then placed it in my hand. I closed my hand around it.

Eli was still staring at the door. I pushed the door open slightly.

"You don't need it anymore." I said, putting the lock in my pocket. He looked at me and I smiled.

"You don't need the lock to keep me out anymore." I lightly joked. Eli sort of smirked and I grabbed both of his hands. "Because I'll just break in anyways."  
He laughed and we stepped into his newly cleaned room and he shut the door behind us.

We both took a minute to look around the room. It was clean and organized, with plenty of space. I glanced at Eli and I knew he was still a little overwhelmed and probably still would be for a long time.

Eli let out a long sigh and I sat down on his bed. He walked over and sat down next to me.

"You're right. The lock actually was the biggest part." he said. I wrinkled my brow.

"Because it was like a security blanket typed thing or something?" I guessed. Eli shook his head and smirked.

"No." he paused. "Because it means I have nothing else I have to hide."

** A/N: Hope you liked all that fluff (: I know the Eli hoarding stuff is old but I always have liked writing about it. Please review!**


	36. Please Never Leave

**Woo, long time no update! I apologize! This oneshot just kind of came out of no where and I was in the mood to write one. Can't say I will be updating oneshots regularly again, but I will be trying to put them up more periodically then I have been for the past year.**

Eli couldn't stop staring at Clare. Although he had already had every detail of her face committed to his memory, he felt like if he didn't stop looking at her, he would lose her image as soon as she left. He had to bite down on his lip and hold his hands together tightly in front of himself to keep his composure.

Clare was putting the last of her clothes into a cardboard box. Her movements were slow yet determined. She would do anything to stay here in Toronto, but she knew where she needed to be right now. And that was wherever her family was. But she couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't strong enough to do this; to leave the boy she had loved for over two years now. She couldn't even look him in the eye. She didn't want to see all the pain that he was trying so hard to hide from her.

She folded a sweater slowly and put it neatly in the box. Then she rose from where she was kneeled down in front of it and pulled the last article of clothing from her closest. Closing the closet door tightly, she felt the smooth fabric of the dress slipping through her fingers and falling in a heap on the floor, the hanger making a quiet clatter sound. She couldn't take it anymore; she fell too, and buried her face in the fabric, her sob mostly muffled.

Eli immediately jumped up from the box he was sitting on and ran over to her, pulling the dress away from her face, and then her hands. Her eye makeup was running down her cheeks and her eyes were red. Eli pulled her into his arms, and she buried her face in his black t-shirt.

Eli felt the tears welling up in his eyes as well, and he used all the strength he possessed to push down the lump in his throat. His arms were shaking badly but Clare moved so only the side of her head was resting against his chest and then reached out and placed her hand on his forearm. He softly kissed her hair, running his fingers down through her soft curls. Her eyes were closed so hard that it almost hurt, and her lips were pressed together in a tight line. The tears still flowed from her tightly sealed eyelids and Eli held her tighter.

"I can't do this." she whispered. The sound of her pained voice almost made the tears in Eli's eyes spill over and he swallowed hard.

"You can." he said, his voice surprisingly forceful. "And you will."

She inhaled sharply and finally raised her head to look him in the eye. Fresh tears sprung from her eyes when she saw the look on his face. His green eyes were glassy with tears and his chin was quivering ever so slightly.

"How am I _supposed_ to do this?" she asked, sitting up slightly.

He stared at her for a few seconds, and then wiped away more of her tears with his thumbs. He then slowly pushed her off his lap and stood up on his shaky legs and grabbed her hand to pull her up with him.

"You just do, Clare." he said, his voice slightly disheartened. "You just do."

He sat her down on one of the many cardboard boxes that filled her bedroom and picked the dress up off of the floor. He stashed the hanger into a plastic bin that was full of them and folded the dress, placing it in on of the boxes. Clare watched him, not sure of what to think. She was still crying, but not as heavily as before.

Eli then reached for the roll of tape sitting on her dresser and folded the box close and then taped it shut. He then reached for the fat Sharpie marker that was next to the tape and wrote 'Clare's clothes' in his scratchy handwriting. He stared at the box for a moment. It was the last one. There was nothing left to pack.

He felt the tears fill up his eyes again and he reached up to brush one away. Clare stood up, pushing the box in front of Eli to the side, and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"If you are going to be strong for me you better let me be strong for you." she said in a commanding tone, her voice breaking slightly on the last word. He stood, frozen for a few moments before he finally broke and wrapped his arms around her waist, never wanting to let go again.

Clare could feel his tears falling onto her shoulder and she pulled back from him. "I love you."

He nodded, looking at the ground softly laughing humorlessly at himself for crying. Then he looked up again, and locked eyes with her. "I love you too."

Clare was just about to grab him and kiss him when they both heard a low rumble sound coming from outside and they both glanced towards the window. The moving truck was parking against the curb. They both silently looked at each other, then the boxes, and they both grabbed one.

Eli was the first one out the door and he quickly headed towards the stairs. Helen, Clare's mom, was heading up the stairs and Eli waited for her to pass before heading down himself.

Just as Eli was about to step down on the first step, Helen placed her hand on his shoulder. Eli looked up at her, hoping there weren't still tears in his eyes. But from the way she smiled sadly at him, he assumed that he still looked upset.

"Hey, thanks for helping us out." Helen said casually. "Moving is such a hassle. It's nice to have an extra set of hands around."

Eli nodded, forcing a small smirk. "You're welcome."

Clare appeared in the hallway, watching her mom and Eli. Helen smiled sadly at her daughter when she noticed the eye makeup smudged messily around her eyes and cheeks. Eli nodded at Clare, forcing another smirk and she passed by them, carrying a box of clothes down the stairs. When she reached the bottom, she glanced up at them, but couldn't quite hear what they were saying. She then continued out the front door and towards the truck.

"Eli, I know this is incredibly hard," Helen started. "But Clare's stepfather and I agreed that you should have these."

Helen walked into the bathroom by the stairs and flipped the light on. There was one box sitting on the counter with a white envelope sitting on top. She grabbed the whole box and walked out, turning the light off and setting the box on the floor. She then took the box from Eli, stacking it on top of the other one and pressed the envelope into his hands. Eli held it, confused.

"What is this?"

Helen smiled. "Just open it."

Eli tore the envelope open and pulled out four plane tickets. He stared at them, shocked.

"You didn't have to do this; I was planning on saving up for them myself!" Eli exclaimed, a genuine smile playing at his lips.

Helen just laughed. "Check the dates."

Eli examined them and his jaw nearly fell open. "This one is for tonight!"

Helen laughed again, holding her hands up tightly in front of herself. "We thought you might want to help Clare get settled. And we called your parents and they already have you bag packed so you are all set."

Eli laughed, shocked. He then flipped through the rest of them. The second one was a return trip in two weeks and the next set was for in 3 months, he would be leaving right before Clare's birthday and coming home a week later.

"Ssh, don't tell Clare about the second set of tickets. We want that one to be a surprise. We were thinking about throwing a party and having you walk in without her knowing and surprise her."

Eli stared at her, still completely perplexed. "Thank you, thank you so much!"

"Anything to make it easier for you two."

The front door reopened and Clare stepped in to the house, closing the door behind herself. Eli quickly stashed the envelope full of the second set of tickets into his pocket and rushed down the stairs, holding the other two tickets.

He picked her up off of her feet and held her tightly in his arms. She even laughed giddily, her voice still sounding slightly hoarse from crying. He then put her back down and shoved the tickets in her face.

"What are these?" she asked, her eyes growing wide when she realized what they were. Eli just laughed excitedly, kissing her softly on the lips.

"You're coming with me?" she asked, in disbelief.

Eli nodded. "I'm going to help you move in."

She laughed happily, throwing her arms around him, still holding the tickets. They both laughed again and held on to each other tightly.

Helen watched from the top of the stairs, smiling. This wasn't going to be easy, moving across the country because of her job being moved, but as long as her daughter was happy, she was happy.

Plus, Helen had liked Eli more and more lately. Her first assumptions about him had definitely been wrong; he was exactly the kind of guy she would want Clare to be dating. And she hated to have to rip Clare away from him, especially when things were going so well for them.

This is why she had two more sets of plane tickets waiting in an envelope in her purse. One was around the time of Spring Break so they could spend their vacation together and one was for the majority of the summer.

She would surprise the two with those tickets later on though.


End file.
